The Fightins » The Laziest Post In Blogging: GET AN EFFING PITCHER Edition

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Jun

2009

The Laziest Post In Blogging: GET AN EFFING PITCHER Edition

Posted by meech.one at 10:19 am ET 27 Comments

If you’re an avid reader of The Fightins dot com, you may notice that I don’t often opine on the inner-workings of the Phillies front office. It’s not because I don’t have opinions — believe me I do — I just feel that 95% of people out there don’t give a shit what a hacky blogger thinks about the current state of the team. And if I just frivolously toss my reactionary commentary around every day, it kind of loses its luster. That being said, I can no longer sit around and watch Antonio Bastardo throw a low 90’s fastball down the middle of the fucking plate anymore. WE NEED A FUCKING TOP OF THE ROTATION STARTING PITCHER.

Nothing against young Tony the Bastard, I’m sure with some fine-tuning and a better arsenal of off-speed pitches he’ll be just a dandy major leaguer some day. But the Phillies are the defending champs. They sell out practically every home game. They are literally printing money down at The Bank. They lost their #2 starter for the season. GO GET A FUCKING TOP OF THE ROTATION STARTING PITCHER.

“Well, meech, how are they gonna do that? You don’t even know who’s available!” you may say. My response? That’s not my fucking job. The league is filled with stupid GM’s who would love nothing more than to dump some pitcher’s salary and get a few half-decent prospects in return. It happens every year. Find one of those dummies, give them.. oh, I dunno.. Carlos Carrasco, Jason Donald, and some other shitty prospect, and get a deal done.

As we learned in 2004, if you trot out the Paul Abbott’s of the world every fifth day, no postseason for you.

It’s really not that difficult to figure out.

Now here’s some links, you disgraziato.

Hey! Once we finally get one of these new, shiny pitchers, they’re gonna have to eventually wear the Phillies uni, right? Thanks to Chris at Long Drive and the magic of teckmology, we can now see how cute they’ll look. I think Roy Halladay looks especially handsome in red pinstripes! [Long Drive]

DMac of PhillyWillDo is trying his darnedest to fill the void left in our hearts when Kris Liakos decided to leave us at Walkoff Walk. His current weekly project is reviewing each episode of the Phillies reality TV drama, The Pen. Episode 1 review can be found HERE, ep 2 is located in between these brackets: [Walkoff Walk]

Speaking of The Pen — helllllooooo, Miriam Taschner:

Since I’m so healthy and shit, I was reading this month’s issue of Men’s Health while doing some lunges the other day and came across a (not-so)interesting article on Cole Hamels. BUT the internet version of this article, features a little how-to guide on throwing pitches just like Hollywood. It’s kinda interesting, I guess. [Men's Health via The Zo Zone]

Did you ever play in the World Baseball Classic? Did you ever play in the World Baseball Classic… on weed? I ♥ Geovany Soto. [Big League Stew]

NEW ROOTS MUSIC, SON! [Okayplayer]

Tweet, Tweet. [@meechone, @DashTreyhorn, @mistertug]

Read More: Link Dumps don't deserve no tags

27 Comments on “The Laziest Post In Blogging: GET AN EFFING PITCHER Edition”

GTO Says:
June 26th, 2009 at 10:32 am
you tell em’ meech
Chris Says:
June 26th, 2009 at 10:41 am
Amen.
Harry Says:
June 26th, 2009 at 11:10 am
Romero’s wife is smokin hot too
Dash Treyhorn Says:
June 26th, 2009 at 11:13 am
I think it’s time for Dash to don his GM hat and toss out his idea for a trade.

Phillies get:
Aaron Harang
Jerry Hairston

Reds get:
Carlos Carrasco
John Mayberry Jr.
Joe Savery

Why do this?
Aaron Harang is a better than average pitcher (understatement) and doesn’t get noticed because he plays for the bottom-feeding Cincinnati Reds. He has pitched at least 200 innings in three of the last four seasons, and he is likely to do so again in 2009. His contract runs until 2010 with a team option for 2011, at a very reasonable price. He is durable and can be among the best right handed pitchers in the league despite pitching in a hitter’s park.

Jerry Hairston will add right-handed depth to the bench, and he has a decent bat and speed.

The Reds, despite being within striking distance of the NL central, aren’t going anywhere this season. Edison Volquez’s year is in jeopardy, and their offense is closer to the bottom of the league in most categories, partly due to no real power from the right side of the plate.

John Mayberry Jr. will be starting in their outfield tomorrow if he was on the roster, which would give them a very respectable (and young) middle of the lineup of Brandon Phillips, Joey Votto, Mayberry and Jay Bruce.

Carlos Carrasco is still amid the top of the Phillies’s prospect chart, and Joe Savery is putting together a nice season in AA.

That might seem like a lot to give up, but remember last season, when the Phils gave up two of their best prospects to get Joe Blanton? That seemed to work out for everyone.

The point is that teams (and fans) sometimes get a little too high on their prospects. Granted, some are untouchable (Drabek, Taylor), but sometimes you need to realize that these guys are just prospects that are far from proven on the big league level.

Right now, the Phillies need some help at the rotation (taken from the Joe Morgan School of Obvious Sports Journalism). As woeful as the offense has been recently, it’s a foregone conclusion that they are going to get back to mashing. But the pitching just isn’t good enough. We know what we will get from Hamels, and Joe Blanton has quietly been very, very good. But after that, it gets a bit murky. Moyer’s ERA is deceiving, and Happ is pitching quite nicely, but they need another arm who can consistently go seven innings on a consistent basis in order to help this team win with better pitching more consistently. (That was for you, KT.)

If the Phils can land Harang (do it Amaro!), then they quickly go from “ho-hum rotation” to “don’t meet this team in a short series-esque” dangerous.
fuck the mets Says:
June 26th, 2009 at 11:37 am
Miriam Taschner SHOULD be the hottest Phillies minor league wife.
Bob Says:
June 26th, 2009 at 11:38 am
Men’s Health for “health & shit.” More like the buff dudes.
Harry Says:
June 26th, 2009 at 11:39 am
Dash – I like Harang but I think giving up Carrasco/Mayber is too much.
Gaze Says:
June 26th, 2009 at 11:52 am
The wives were handing out the grab bags at the Phillies Phestival this past Monday… there was some pretty decent eye candy!
Jim McCloskey Says:
June 26th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
Just got turned on to this site by a freind & gotta say I love it. Out here in CA, I’m originally from 2nd street in south philly, all I here about are the fucking Dodgers & Giants. Great to finally read & see some great & hysterically funny news & comments. You have a faithful reader here! Keep up the great work!
MikeG Says:
June 26th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
I’ve been thinking and and just have something I got to share.

I think this losing is good.

Especially this EMBARRASSING losing. You know why? You feel that? Deep in the pit of your stomach? That knot? That tightness? Remember that feeling for the last 25 years? It’s what WE’VE been missing since Halloween last year.
When our heroes won it all last year, we were out of our minds with joy. We laughed, we cried, we danced in the streets…but with every yell, every laugh, every tear, we lost who we are. We’re the mean old bastards. We’re the nasty ones. We’re the ones who intimidated opposing pitches last postseason.
The Bank is quiet now…and I’ll admit, I’ve been guilty of it too. We all have. The first half of this season has been the cigarette after getting laid. It’s been smooth, relaxed, satisfied. One word that should never be used to describe our town is satisfied. Don’t let it be quiet. We need to remind these guys that last year is done. We’ll always buy them a beer for that-but it’s over. They need to get up and get a gutcheck and so do we. Don’t let that Bank be quiet anymore.
No more free passes.
No more letting the opposition get in a groove in our stadium
No more silence.
Remember that knot in your stomach. Remember how it was.
Let ‘em hear your cheers. Let ‘em hear the boos.
I’m just one guy…but I’m asking everyone-next time we’re all there, let’s show them we’re as mad as hell and we’re not going to take it anymore.
lebowski Says:
June 26th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
taylor, carrasco, donald and savery for cliff lee
lebowski Says:
June 26th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
i would’ve put marson in there for savery, but i think the indians have some top-notch catching depth in their system.
Harry Says:
June 26th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
yeah lets just ship them our whole farm system
Jim McCloskey Says:
June 26th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
We should look at the Angels Minor League pithching, Salt Lake . I saw them pitch here at Fresno AAA and they have incredible depth at starting pitchers & relief. Plus they have several AAA pitchers that have been called up to the bigs for injured players. Hell they are so deep they’d probably unload a few for cash.
Tug Haines Says:
June 26th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
John Lackey
Jim McCloskey Says:
June 26th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
Amen to Lackey but they woudn’t let him go. How about Palmer or Saunders
Chad Ogea Says:
June 26th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
I think a few points that Harry brought up a few days ago need to be reiterated:

1. Why is Eric Bruntlett still on the team?
2. Why is Jack Taschner still on the team?
3. Why hasn’t he acquired a right handed hitter to pinchhit?
4. Why the FUCK are they carrying three catchers?

I understand the Brunt gives us defensive assurance behind our entire infield and outfield, but that is no excuse to be hitting .145 on the season. There has to be another jack-of-all trades utility man SOMEWHERE in the baseball world that can hit .250.

Jack Taschner is so bad that the Giants didn’t even want him last year.

The third one is obviously a work in progress as the trade deadline approaches. No one in Lehigh Valley excites me at all, so a RH call-up wouldn’t really do.

The Paul Bako call-up was one of the most confusing moves by the Phillies all year. A LH-hitting, slow, .230 career strikeout machine catcher? If you’re trying to package Coste to Colorado (or somewhere else), is Bako going to be our 2nd catcher for the rest of the year? I hope the answer is no, even though Marson is playing mediocre baseball in AAA. I’m a big Coste fan to begin with, and if they packaged him, at least have the decency to bring up Marson over Bako. Having Coste be a RH pinch hitter is a short-term option at best.

Also, please end the Antonio Bastardo experiment. Carpenter has been throwing decent ball at Lehigh and deserves a couple starts. Hell, I’d even take 3-7 5.20 ERA Carrasco for a few starts. That being said, another SP from another team is still the best option.
Here Come Da Judge Says:
June 26th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
lure doug drabek out of retirement and call up kyle drabek for the father/son combo
Chad Ogea Says:
June 26th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
To following up with my post, a few notes about the current Phils lineup and some thoughts. Anyone can disagree with them, and I don’t want to seem nitpicky. Remember there are alot of positives too…

Howard: Needs to walk more. Remember the beast that walked 108 and 107 times in ‘06 and ‘07? Well, that number dropped to 81 last year, and is currently on pace for just 67 this year. Pitchers have figured out many of his weaknesses, and his average and walk rates have suffered.

Shane & Rollins: Need to steal more. Obviously, Rollins needs to stop popping out to the SS in shallow LF every at-bat and to get on base in order to steal. I think one of our key attributes on our team is our speed, for the most part. Obviously, Shane and Jimmy can’t be expected to be a Crawford/Upton tag-team, but one of our most dangerous aspects of the Phils game in the past few years was the 1-2 guys being able to steal at any time when on base. As for Werth, outside of his 4 steal game, 6 steals is relatively modest, but still 20-20 pace.

Werth: Really streaky. Hopefully the Blue Jays will keep serving him home run balls this weekend. Seems like he goes 0-20 and then 10-20 all the sudden. But, at the end of the day, that’s still a .250 hitter. Would love to seem him creep up over .270 and be more consistent.
Jim McCloskey Says:
June 26th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
Chad, read your posty & agree. A great “jack-of-all-trades” guy is Jerry Hairston of the Reds. He plays great defense is can play all of the infield (besides catcher) & outfield positions & has good speed on the bases.
WB-Tony Says:
June 26th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
I know I’m gonna take shit for this, but I don’t want to see them go out and get Bedard, Lee, Harang, or anyone else for that matter. Those teams are all going to demand than just the minor league prospects for the guys you are all bringing up, which means we start breaking apart pieces of the team. And if you guys for one second think that the Fightins were more talented than all those teams we beat you’re all full of shit. The reason we won last year is because of chemistry, and when you start dealing a Victorino or a Werth you’re completely fucking the chemistry. And when you fuck the chemistry of this team up its goodbye playoffs for another 10 years.
Dash Treyhorn Says:
June 26th, 2009 at 3:10 pm
@WB-Tony This team is currently not constructed to go very far in the playoffs. Their rotation is in desperate need of another arm. Carraso, Bastardo, Drabek, et al are not going to make the difference this season. They need to get another arm, and you cannot argue that. However, that doesn’t mean they need to give up Werth or Victorino.

Think back to the biggest trades of last season…
C.C. Sabathia – Traded for minor leagues prospects
Rich Harden – Traded for Eric Patterson (Has appeared in two games in 2009), Matt Murton (.267/1/6), Sean Gallagher (1-2, 8.16), and a minor league prospect.
Manny Ramirez – The biggest name involved in that trade was Jason Bay. The other players were Andy LaRoche, Craig Hansen, Josh Wilson, Brandon Moss and Bryan Morris.
Joe Blanton was traded for Adrian Cardenas and Josh Outman – both minor leaguers.

Four trades last season, and mostly for prospects and/or not big names.

As far as the team not being more talented than the other teams…
Runs: 2nd in NL
HR: 1st in NL
OPS: 3rd in NL
ERA (starters): 4th in NL
ERA (bullpen): 1st in NL
Home record: 3rd in NL
Road record: 1st in NL
Run differential: 2nd in NL

So…yeah.
bigmyc Says:
June 26th, 2009 at 3:36 pm
WB Tony, I know you didn’t mean that like it came across. Sure, they have chemistry, but the Dodgers, Brewers or Rays didn’t have anyone like the greatest Phillies second baseman in history, or the most prolific young homer machine in the Phillies history or slickest fielding shortstop in Phillies history or a starting pitcher who was a mother nature pissing fit away from a chance at an unprecedented fifth win in post season….catch ma drift here?

You’re not one of those guys who thinks that Manny automatically makes a team super talented, are you? Don’t try to tell me that Victorino is a Dodger cast off…no one really thinks that way. It’s obvious the guy has matured into the player he is now and all HE did was set a Phillies record for RBI in the postseason (so what if it was the first postseason that the Phillies played three series in).

None of those teams has a catcher as defensively adept like the Phillies. It hasn’t looked like it lately, but this team can really flash some leather and what about their baserunning skills that has only been augmented by Davey Lopes?

What a curious post you have submitted.
Chris Says:
June 26th, 2009 at 3:45 pm
@Dash completely fucking forgot Harang when doing my post. I intended to include him and forgot.
Harry Says:
June 26th, 2009 at 4:24 pm
@bigmyc – are you on drugs?

if we play the rays 100 times last year they probably beat us 60-65 times out of 100. the phillies were fortunate to get really hot at the right time. end of story.
PhiPhan5648 Says:
June 26th, 2009 at 4:57 pm
I’d take Harang, and Hairston for Carasco, and a couple of Minor Leaguers.

…just no trading Savery, Taylor, Drabek, or Mayberry. Those I can see as PHILLIES of the future. Savery and Drabek in the rotation, Mayberry and Taylor in the Outfield when Ibanez retires, and when we get tired ot Werth’s streaks.
D. Whitmore Says:
June 26th, 2009 at 7:45 pm
@phiphan

mayberry can go for all i care. i want an outfield of dom brown and taylor