I’m not emotionally stable enough to form coherent sentences here, so you’ll have to settle for one of those quote-box thingees. From MLBTR, via The Squirrel and Busta-Buss Olney:
The Rays, filling their need for a power hitter, are close to signing free-agent Pat Burrell to a two-year, $16 million contract, according to major-league sources.
TWO YEARS, $16 MILLION!?!??!!! Fuck you Ruben Amaro, Jr.
And with that, an entire city’s female population is now frantically searching for real estate in Tampa. Who else is gonna bust a Pat the Bat slump?

11 Comments on “So long, Pat”
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January 5th, 2009 at 3:47 pm
Don’t get me wrong, I loved when Pat the Bat actually showed up to games, but he has been way to streaky for my liking. The team has enough of a streaky player in Howard, Feliz, etc and I think Ibanez is a steady hitting machine that this team needs behind Ryan. Good luck, Pat.
January 5th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
Amaro offered him more than that. He chose to test the market. I’m so mad at you, Pat.
January 5th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
Fuck it I’m so emotional that I’m conjuring my inner-motown-philly…
How do I say goodbye to what we had? (World Fucking Champs)
The good times that made us laugh (Fat Pat at Bat)
Outweigh the bad. (Fat Pat in the field)
I thought we’d get to see forever (Pat Burrell and titties)
But forever’s gone away (Except for the titties)
Its so hard to say goodbye to yesterday. (World Fucking Champs)
I don’t know where this road
Is going to lead (Another World Fucking Championship)
All I know is where we’ve been (World Fucking Champs)
And what we’ve been through. (A shit ton of losing)
If we get to see tomorrow
I hope its worth all the wait (Another World Fucking Championship)
Its so hard to say goodbye to yesterday. (WORLD FUCKING CHAMPS!)
And Ill take with me the memories
To be my sunshine after the rain
Its so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.
January 5th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
This is making me sick. So the first game I get to go to this season, the on-deck series against the RAYS, I’m going to have to see Pat in another team’s uniform? I don’t think I can bear it. This just isn’t right. Why couldn’t he go somewhere where we’d never see him again except on TV, and be spared a little bit of the heartbreak. This is going to just be pouring salt in the wound on what should be a wonderful, triumphant return to the Bank. Ugh!
January 5th, 2009 at 4:54 pm
@poop:
Actually, according to a column by Paul Hagen a few weeks ago, Ed Wade J…I MEAN Ruben Amaro Jr. did NOT offer Pat more. There never was an offer of 2 yrs/$22 mil as had been reported in various places. In fact, the Phillies never offered him anything. The choice to go elsewhere was not Pat’s.
January 5th, 2009 at 7:21 pm
Did we jump with the Ibanez signing? Probably. Could have got him much cheaper most likely. But I really don’t understand the sudden Burrell love, I still think people are drunk off the WS win. The guy hit his lowest BA and OBS since 2004. Is Raul an upgrade? I really don’t know, but I wouldn’t be surprised that Burrell hovers around .235 in the AL East. Sad to see PtB go down south, but I still think it was a better move to let him walk. Hopefully Werth picks up some of the power we lost.
January 5th, 2009 at 7:22 pm
OBP not OBS. My bad.
January 5th, 2009 at 7:36 pm
Sorry to see Pat go, wish him the best, but my favorite part about the Ibannez signing:
RISP/2-out, last three years:
Burrell: 204 Opportunities, .196 Avg, 67 RBIs
Ibanez: 200, .340, 95
Look at any other RISP stat for these two and you’ll see basically the same thing.
And Ibanez’s OBP was better in these situations too.
If he keeps putting up #s like these, it’ll definitely be worth it. Can’t wait for April
January 5th, 2009 at 8:09 pm
Goodbye Pat The Bat – You were hot, you were cold, you were always sexy. I remember when you came up. You struck out a lot, and you hit some mammoth home runs. You carried us at the end of 2007 and the first half of 2008, when everyone else was struggling. You never complained. You were always the first one out of the dugout when the game started. You had great hair. You ran poorly. You got mad at Larry Bowa and dyed your hair blond. You should have been an all-star this year. We didn’t know if you were Man or Machine. You need to stop slicking your hair back. You got replaced by some stupid lefthander who’s way older than you. You got us to two division championships, and got the hit that made us World Effin Champions. You and Elvis the dog. I’ll miss you Pat. I’ll never forget you. And when I see you on April 4, wearing that dastardly Rays uniform, I might cry a bit, but I’ll scream myself hoarse cheering for you. I used to always see Ruben Amaro Jr. walking around the ballpark. If I see him there this year, or anyplace in Phila, or anyplace period, I’m going to kick his ass.
January 6th, 2009 at 11:21 am
Dude I wish I were Burrell so I could bang bitches like that.
January 8th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
we offered burrell 2 years 22 mil. he wanted a 3rd year. plus no for nothing we are getting more with ibanez. we hits plus 290 a year he has driven in over 100 runs in the last 3 or 4 years and has also hit plus 20 homeruns a year in a not so friendly homerun hitting park. he should hit plus 30 here. we dont have to take him out for D replacement and also has decent speed. i love pat i dont remember not having him its going to be very weird sitting in leftfield with my season tix and not having him running out and saying have a game pat have a game. but we are all around getting a better player. the phillies are looking for a repeat and so am i. we have the player that can get us closer.