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Nov
21
2008
Ryan Howard Prefers The Demure, Unassertive Type
Posted by meech.one at 2:01 pm ET 13 Comments

From the great Deadspin…

“It appears that the second best hitter in baseball gets around town. This chick, named Amanda, met Ryan in Vegas last weekend and the two proceeded to hit on each other all night. They were making out in the club, dirty dancing, and finally they concluded the night with some baby making. Sadly, Ryan didn’t realize that this chick is a 100% genuine jizz-jar cum-dumpster. Hopefully he didn’t catch the clap. Howard may not have gotten the hardware but my guess is he definitely got SOMETHING.

LOVE LIVE THE MANG!”

Although, I always spelled it “maing”

UPDATE: It seems as though a few angry e-mailers are confused with this post, so allow me to address a few things.

a.) What is in blockquotes above was not written by me. I personally don’t know Amanda and didn’t describe her as “a 100% genuine jizz-jar cum-dumpster.” Those would be the words, verbatim, (hence the blockquotes) of an e-mailer who sent it in to a much, much more popular site than mine called Deadspin.  And I’m sure “Amanda” (if that’s even her real name) is just a super girl.

b.) Again, I swiped the pic off of Deadspin. However, if it were sent to my inbox, I definitely would have posted it regardless if it was on another site first. It’s a great picture. I probably wouldn’t have reprinted the e-mail in it’s entirety, but since it was already out there, I might as well pass it along.

c.) That picture looks like a still from the first five minutes of every single episode of In The VIP that I have ever seen.  No, In The VIP is not on the Travel Channel, and yes, I’ve seen many.

Ryan Howard loves the MANG | Deadspin

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13 Comments on “Ryan Howard Prefers The Demure, Unassertive Type”

  1. joe Says:
    November 21st, 2008 at 2:29 pm

    i read this and almost choked to death i was laughing so much. bravo, sir.

  2. The Phunyun Says:
    November 21st, 2008 at 3:43 pm

    Wait, so you’re saying he didn’t pick up that chick at Lou Turks?

  3. Jerrold Says:
    November 21st, 2008 at 4:05 pm

    I died laughin, holy shit. Funny thing is, and maybe he’s moved out, but Ryan Howard actually used to date a chick from Kutztown University. Definitely saw him at a bar last fall and the place went nuts.

  4. Mike Says:
    November 21st, 2008 at 5:43 pm

    He still dates the Kutztown girl..

  5. PhillyCuban Says:
    November 21st, 2008 at 6:33 pm

    nice ass shot on the left too

  6. Jerrold Says:
    November 21st, 2008 at 6:41 pm

    He is? Really? And yet he decides to let his manhood crawl up a Botox-filled blonde? Yikes. Yeah, seeing him in Kutztown was surreal but I didn’t know they were still going out.

  7. Mark Says:
    November 21st, 2008 at 8:27 pm

    Ok so just how tall is this chick or is Howard on his knees? She has to be every bit of 6 ft plus whatever heels shes got on. Good call on the ass shot PhillyCuban

  8. Jayson Werth his weight in gold Says:
    November 22nd, 2008 at 5:14 pm

    Its cool meech, I actually thought it WAS one of the girls from RealityKings when I saw the pic on deadspin. Then I remembered that Molly is only into girls, or thats what shes told me on numerous webcam chats.

    /realitykings member since 2005

  9. meech.one Says:
    November 22nd, 2008 at 11:00 pm

    good man, Jayson Werth his weight in gold.

  10. ill Says:
    November 24th, 2008 at 2:37 pm

    nice underboob.

  11. Mike Says:
    November 24th, 2008 at 3:00 pm

    What? All the girls from Kutztown don’t look like that?

  12. The Phunyun Says:
    November 24th, 2008 at 11:58 pm

    Ummm, I believe that’s side boob.

  13. ill Says:
    November 25th, 2008 at 8:24 am

    I can see under it.

    6 of one, half a dozen of the other. Still a nice boob.

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