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Jan

2009

Phillies sign the insane Giles brother. No, the other one.

Posted by meech.one at 10:31 pm ET 22 Comments

In what some would consider GM Ruben Amaro’s best signing yet, the Philadelphia Phillies have inked ex-Brave/Padre/Rockie 2nd baseman Marcus Giles to a minor league contract. The career .277 hitter who hasn’t played in the majors since 2007 will be invited to Spring Training in order to annoy teammates and compete for the roster spot that would be left open if Chase Utley is forced to start the season on the DL.

Marcus, as you may recall, was the subject of rather creepy piece in the USA Today in March of ‘07 where he and his brother Brian conducted an inteview with Bob Nightengale while shaving their balls in the shower.

Seriously. Here’s an excerpt:

“Marcus, Marcus, hurry up and get in here,” Brian Giles screams. “Chris is in here.”

Marcus Giles, seven years younger than Brian, yells, “Oh, boy,” strips his clothes and is showering within seconds. Minutes later, Padres pitcher Chris Young is red-faced and out of the shower, still shaking his head. “You get nervous when you see those guys come into the shower,” says Young, a Princeton graduate. “Let’s put it this way: You definitely don’t close your eyes in there, even when you’re shampooing.”

So just what happened in there to make Young flee as if one of the Giles boys pulled a fire alarm?

“Ah, we just like to shave in there,” Brian says, referring to their body hair, not their faces. “Chris, for some reason, thinks it’s gross.”

I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that Mickey Morandini has a better shot to crack the 25-man roster than Marcus does.

Marcus Giles joins Phils | Inquirer

22 Comments on “Phillies sign the insane Giles brother. No, the other one.”

Chamomiles Davis Says:
January 6th, 2009 at 11:31 pm
Why not just sign Anna Benson if they’re not serious about it? She’d be a lot more entertaining to watch in the shower.
Lynniemac Says:
January 6th, 2009 at 11:33 pm
Chan Ho Park. Gary Majewski. Marcus Giles. Every move Amaro makes leaves me more and more confident. Confident that last year’s WFS win was the last we’ll see for a long time.
GM-Carson Says:
January 7th, 2009 at 4:10 am
Gotta admit I’ve never shaved my balls baby-skin smooth, but I have trimmed the hedges.
Get Me outta Cleveland and back to Philly Says:
January 7th, 2009 at 8:59 am
GM-Carson…You should try it…it’s fantastic.
MikeY Says:
January 7th, 2009 at 9:08 am
@ Linnie-Mac:

You forgot Mike Koplove.
twig Says:
January 7th, 2009 at 9:38 am
@Carson – while it is wonderful at first, it really sucks when it starts to grow back. Know how bad it itches if you don’t shave your face for a few days? Imagine that same feeling on your balls.
SD Says:
January 7th, 2009 at 9:47 am
Glad to see the Phillies continuing in their tradition of signing the wrong brother. Mike Maddux, Jeremy Giambi, and Marcus Giles, we salute you.
Chamomiles Davis Says:
January 7th, 2009 at 10:21 am
@SD: Singing the National Anthem at this year’s Opening Day will be John Stamos…’s younger brother.
MikeY Says:
January 7th, 2009 at 11:22 am
@ SD:

Didn’t they also have Joe DiMaggio’s brother?
Chamomiles Davis Says:
January 7th, 2009 at 11:59 am
@MikeY: I think it was the Red Sox who signed Dom DiMaggio.
Wilson Says:
January 7th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
@MikeY and Chamo:

Dom did sign with the Red Sox but Vince…Vince DiMaggio played a little over a year for the Fightins
meech.one Says:
January 7th, 2009 at 12:10 pm
It wasn’t even that brother, Cham. The Phillies had fucking Vince DiMaggio.
meech.one Says:
January 7th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
Damn you, Wilson!
Wilson Says:
January 7th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
sorry meech……
How do you spell retard? Says:
January 7th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
@Twig @Carson

The itching is the downside, the utter surface area you must cover is. It takes for-fuckin-ever!
Tartan69 Says:
January 7th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
Phils “wrong brother” syndrome:

http://www.beerleaguer.com/beerleaguer/2009/01/phillies-sign-marcus-giles-to-minor-league-contract.html#comment-144372866
How do you spell retard? Says:
January 7th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
Wasn’t Marcus the one, a couple years ago, that got into a bitch fit because a Phillie tried to bowl him over on a double play?
I remember him getting his pussy all agitated at the Bank.
Lynniemac Says:
January 7th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
@MikeY:

Thanks for reminding me. Ugh.
Matt Says:
January 7th, 2009 at 9:22 pm
you guys are doing it wrong. go buy a tube of extra sensitive veet hair removal cream. lather up the junk, wait 5 minutes, and hop in the shower. works great. i do it all the time. before i go to parties, the bar, hot dates with women with questionable morals, bar mitzvahs…it’s great stuff. better than nair. just give it a try.
Phils Phan Says:
January 7th, 2009 at 10:30 pm
@ Twig:

Shit. The grow-back period is the worst, especially when you irritate the hairs from walking, etc. As a result, it looks like you have a rash everywhere down there until they grow out a little.

The short: Great for one or two nights of sex, shitty for a few days thereafter, and then back to the status quo.
GM-Carson Says:
January 8th, 2009 at 7:10 am
Tartan- that was my comment on BeerLeaguer. But for a better list with explanation about the Wrong Brother Syndrome, click on this link- http://pabaseball.blogspot.com/2009/01/wrong-brother-syndrome.html
Tartan69 Says:
January 8th, 2009 at 8:39 am
Carson – I actually checked your blog before posting that link as I did see you said you were going to make a post on it, but didn’t see it up yet so I just went with the BL link. Either way, good bit of info there.