The Fightins'
Jun
23
2011
Phillie Phanatic hospitalized after getting hit with foul ball
Posted by meech.one at 8:56 am ET 27 Comments

While the Phillies were in St. Louis last night daring the Cardinals to score a run, the Phillie Phanatic took a trip up the PA Turnpike so he could entertain those baseball lovin’ folks at the Lehigh Valley IronPigs game. Everything was going great — he was in the stands gyrating his hips, sticking his party favor tongue out at children, and spilling popcorn on people — and then all of a sudden, BOOM. He gets whacked in the neck with a foul ball off the bat of an Indianapolis Indians player.

The Associated Press was all over the story (via Daily News):

ALLENTOWN, Pa. – The Phillie Phanatic was taken to the hospital after being struck by a foul ball at an IronPigs baseball game at Coca-Cola Park here.

A spokeswoman for Lehigh Valley Hospital-Cedar Crest told The Morning Call that Tom Burgoyne, the man inside the Philadelphia Phillies mascot’s costume, was treated in the emergency room Wednesday night and later released.

The Phanatic was entertaining behind the first-base dugout in the top of the third inning when a foul ball from the Indianapolis Indians hit his neck , the area around Burgoyne’s head. The Phanatic acted wounded but kept clowning for a while until he later left the stadium and went to the hospital.

Whoa, wait a second — there’s a man inside the Phanatic?

YOU MEAN THE PHANATIC ISN’T REAL???

*runs away sobbing*

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27 Responses to “Phillie Phanatic hospitalized after getting hit with foul ball”

  1. DP says:

    Tom Burgoyne is the Phanatic’s representative. The Phanatic’s original certificate of live birth is posted on the internets. It’s just the AP (i.e. left wing media conspiracy) spreading vicious rumors again.

    • Mike P says:

      Nice post (birth certificate!), but as a representative of the American Left, I want to assure you that all real lefties–even the communists–are on the side of the Phillie Phanatic. Rather, as the AP is headquartered in New York, I suspect that this is a conspiracy of rotten Mets fans, hoping to kill the morale of good Philadelphians by acting as if the Phanatic isn’t real. We should keep the faith, and remind ourselves that they’re just jealous. After all, the absolute lameness of Mr. Met compels them to try to drag others down to their level.

      Also, two questions:

      1) Has the Phanatic been clocked by a ball before? If not, it’s sort of insane. I mean, he’s probably watching the game 50% of the time that he’s out on the field, and he’s a giant target. You’d figure that he would have been popped at least a couple of times by now.

      2) What were the fans doing in this situation?! You’d hope that someone would have jumped up to grab the ball, or at least they could have given him some warning to get down.

  2. jd says:

    /plugs fingers in ears
    LALALALALALALLALALALALALLALALALALLALALLALALALLA

  3. philajaime says:

    Whoa…just because there’s “a man inside” the Phanatic doesn’t mean he’s not real. It just means he might live an alternative lifestyle. I ain’t gonna judge.

    What’s harder to believe is that he can live off nothing but Cheesesteaks and Tastycakes and maintain the physique and energy necessary to run around a ballpark for nine innings.

  4. Jay Grace says:

    15 day DL

  5. Phylan says:

    He’s real meech.

    *gazes out window*

    Realer than all of us, in a way

  6. Highest Cheese says:

    Waiting for the Furry porn to come out where the hot nurses give the Phanatic a sponge bath in the ER.

  7. no no, the Phanatic ate Burgoyne. He was in the process of swallowing him, the ball hit Burgoyne, Phanatic felt bad, and spit him out and helped him get to the hospital. No way in hell that wonderful green creature is anything but real.

  8. Amandah says:

    I just wish the Phanatic was anatomically correct. Would love to see those gigantic melon-sized Galapagos Island balls swinging from side to side. Would also like to see an asshole right underneath his tail.

    Regards,

    Amandah

    • Gene Schall says:

      Have you ever looked under his tail?

      It’s there. And it’s dyed green.

      Ask Colleen Wolfe.

  9. Van Swirly says:

    Meech, you just ruined my childhood

  10. What's next... says:

    I just heard some one say that the women in Playboy don’t have real breasts and the photos are airbrushed. Real life SUCKS!

  11. Colleen Wolfe's Newly Bleached Asshole says:

    I only know about Gonzo’s asshole. And if you really want to know….shit brown. :(

    • Dubee Dubee Du says:

      There any truth to the rumor that a vegetarian’s asshole eventually turns green?

  12. MarkM625 says:

    Bring back David Raymond! And also Dancin’ On Air. ha

  13. TheThird says:

    I come here for 2 reasons. The Phillies, and updates on Colleen Wolfe’s asshole

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