According to his post-game quotes, Matt Stairs must be into some freaky celebratory shit. Following the 2-run blast that made Jonathan Broxton the new old-Brad Lidge, he had this to say:
“When you get that nice celebration coming into the dugout and you’re getting your ass hammered by guys — there’s no better feeling than to have that done.”
Hey, I’m not here to judge, Matt. Do whatcha gotta.
45 Comments on “MLB Quote of the Year: Matt Stairs”
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October 14th, 2008 at 8:36 am
When Matt Stairs commits felonies, he prefers federal “pound me in the ass” prison.
October 14th, 2008 at 8:45 am
The writers of “Always Sunny” must do Matts quotes now.
October 14th, 2008 at 9:25 am
Instant Philly Legend
October 14th, 2008 at 9:50 am
The Dodgers got their asses hammered pretty hard, too.
October 14th, 2008 at 10:29 am
the other great stairs quote, “I’m just trying to hit homeruns, I’m not gonna hit a single and steal second”
October 14th, 2008 at 11:16 am
That is friggin classic.
October 14th, 2008 at 11:53 am
I thought Kruk was the best quotable Phillie ever but I think he just took a back door to the Stairs.
October 14th, 2008 at 12:00 pm
This man says he has the most fun when he’s “seeing how far he can hit it”… In technical terms: Pretty goddamn far, Matt!
October 14th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
We weren’t getting “hammered”. It was “just the tip”. It was LA who took it up the rear, balls DEEP!!!
October 14th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
I’m going to make sure his hockey players at John Bapst (he’s their coach) have this for the season.
October 14th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
Who doesn’t prefer a nice ass hammering every now and then.
October 14th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
Shit Dave…I know I do!!
October 14th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
The scary thing about major league baseball today is the number of otherplayers equally as selfish and self centered who probably feel and act the same way Stairs does, who show it in their actions and just aren’t quite stupid enough to verbalize it. There is a reason why the guy has bounced around for the past 20 years up and down, Nashville, Toronto, Kansas City, Milwaukee, who hasn’t he played for and who would question why he doesn’t feel a part of the team. At 45 or how ever old he is, he’s just trying to maximize an opportunity to earn a pay check before he goes back to minimum wage.
October 14th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
Must be Angels fans above me here…Maybe Trevor and Dave should hook up.
October 14th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
I’m not even sure I know what Mike J is talking about. And did Jimmy M intend to say “back door” or was that a Freudian slip?
October 14th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
uhhhh? uhhh? wha? naaa! He didn’t just…..?
October 14th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
Matt Stairs can say whatever he wants as long as he comes off the bench and bashes the ball
October 14th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Dont listen to Mike J. I wont let him take the air out of my balloon.
October 14th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
“Mike J, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone on this comment board is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”
October 14th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Mike J just made my head hurt
October 14th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
Mike J needs his ass hammered.
October 14th, 2008 at 5:57 pm
Matty Ballgame is the MAN! Let say whatever he wants. He has jioined the legends of Philly FOREVER!!! Tommy LaSorda wishes he was Matt Stairs.
October 14th, 2008 at 7:01 pm
Matt Stairs is just like everyone else. He is trying to make a living the best way he knows how. I loved it last night when he hit the ball out of the park. The fact that he made a ’stupid’ statement does not take away from the joy I got from the go ahead run. Let’s face it, reporters ask the most stupid questions at the most inappropiate times anyway. I’m sure the adrenolin was pumping.
October 14th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
That comment was low-hanging fruit. Hilarious thread.
October 14th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
Matt Stairs is just trying to be a little funny because he felt good after the win he didn’t think the Phillies would get, and now the media sees this and always acts as a 15 year old immature kid and spreads more useless jokes on how this can be more hilarious than it is. There is just jealousy from the media because sports has there fraternity, and they can’t do the same things players do and the media hates it.
October 14th, 2008 at 7:25 pm
Booyah!
October 14th, 2008 at 7:32 pm
Hammered in the ass? As long as they have the goddamn common courtesy to give a reach-around.
/R. Lee Ermey’d
October 14th, 2008 at 7:37 pm
Mike J, comment #13, you are an idiot and you should be banned from ever using a computer again. You’re absolutely clueless. The reason Stairs bounced around from team to team is cause he’s a one tool guy who’s been past his prime since Oakland. He still has the ability to hit with power, so teams will take him as a lefty stick off the bench. His teammates actually like him wherever he goes, look it up if you wish.
October 14th, 2008 at 7:42 pm
I have listened to this over 10 times and it is still funny
October 14th, 2008 at 7:55 pm
@ Kris K — Dude, shut it, you’re a TOOL!!
October 14th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
It truly does suck when you say something that hilarious and have idea that you’re saying it. Bottom line, he was the hero of the day, have at him all you want, he still won the game!!!
October 14th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
Stairs strikes me as a guy whose been around so long that he doesn’t care to repeat all the boring baseball aphorisms that most players say when they are interviewed after a good game.
I don’t think he’s being selfish in his approach…you think that this is news to Gillick and Charlie?
Every team wants a guy on the bench that is swinging for the fences. He even said that he liks pinch hitting, which is a very selfless position for most players to have, because it usually means they don’t get starts.
I find it hilarious how frank he was last night in his interviews. He really endeared himself to me.
October 14th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
that is the greatest thing i have ever seen on the internet well execpt for porn of course
October 14th, 2008 at 11:25 pm
@ Jeremy14 – a tool? lol wow
October 14th, 2008 at 11:37 pm
I was watching that interview last night and was laughing and thought to myself that quote was going to blow up. HILARIOUS. lets go phils!
October 15th, 2008 at 2:07 am
lame
October 15th, 2008 at 7:30 am
mike j – get alife join PETA
October 15th, 2008 at 7:31 am
Ryan
PETA NEEDS YOU
October 15th, 2008 at 9:58 am
At night, Matt Stairs rests his head on a pillow case full of cheesesteaks.
October 15th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
This is terrific! I have been a Matt Stairs fan since his Oakland days; when he was on that Animal-House team with Giambi, Mulder, Hudson, Tejada…etc….I always joke with my friends when he went to the National league, and had to play the field….he was probably out in Left Field, enjoying a Marlboro, then somebody hits it down the line…..”Shit, gotta go get this thing…” then throws the cig down and throws it in…His physique is on the B-plan – Butts(cigs or ass-hammering ), beers, and brats!! I love this guy
October 15th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
MATT STAIRS 3:16-
ARRIVE.
HIT HOMERS.
LEAVE.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCe6IEh3cRA
October 15th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
F*%@!!! i just outed myself on national T.V.!!! Sorry honey.
October 16th, 2008 at 12:02 am
Stairs is just getting his ass warmed up for the Rays to cum in and tear his ass apart.
October 17th, 2008 at 10:41 pm
Stairs 3:16 says I just belted that pitch.
Arrive
Hit Homers
Leave
October 20th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
Coincidentally, Matt Stairs used to have Stone Cold Steve Austin’s WWE theme as his at-bat music at Oakland.