The Fightins'
CONFIRMED: Pat Burrell is The Machine
Posted by at 11:57 am ET 162 Comments

A few days ago, dong-shot specialists Deadspin ran a video of Giants closer Brian Wilson doing an appearance with Chris Rose on his Fox Sports show Cheap Seats via satellite from his house when a man wearing a gimp outfit casually walked behind him mid-interview. Then later on, during a post-victory NLCS locker room celebration, Rose once again interviewed Wilson, but this time he referred to the leather-clad fella who mysteriously showed up at his house as “The Machine.”

Here’s some video to fill you in (wait until the :43 second mark):

So Deadspin asked, who is The Machine?

After narrowing down the suspects, they decided that the culprit was more than likely Pat Burrell, former left-fielder for the Philadelphia Phillies and Wilson’s current teammate. Now that’s some mighty fine investigative work by the Deadspin boys, because for the last couple of years, I have been sitting on a picture of Pat Burrell in all his gimp-outiftted glory, but never ran it because the guy who gave me the picture didn’t want to get caught.

Well, that was a few years ago when Pat Burrell was a Phillie, and since he’s now with the SF Giants, and it’s basically public knowledge anyway, I’m gonna go ahead and share the picture with everyone…

I don’t really want to go into detail about how I acquired this picture, but it was taken at Pat Burrell’s house in Arizona during a Christmas party in (I believe) December of ’04 (possibly ’05). According to my picture-taking accomplice, every year during his Christmas party — which is attended by a veritable who’s who of baseballers who spend their winters out in AZ — Pat wanders upstairs and slips into his assless-chapped gimp outfit to entertain his party guests while making them feel extremely uncomfortable all at the same time.

Another reason I never shared the pic is because the quality is just god-awful. It was taken on one of those ancient 1.2 megapixel camera phones from the mid-00′s. Plus, the person who gave me the pic put that little “man or machine” thought bubble in there which certainly detracts from the photo, but is kinda funny in retrospect considering his gimpy character name is now known as The Machine.

So, without further ado — here’s The Machine (Pat Burrell) from about 5 years ago wearing the same outfit that he wore in that Brian Wilson video:


162 Responses to “CONFIRMED: Pat Burrell is The Machine”

  1. Pat Burrell's Chapped Ass says:

    Fightin’s fans are speechless.

  2. theKrisheim says:

    meechone 4ever

  3. Craig says:

    I am simply stunned. Brian Wilson brought the mask on Jim Rome Is Burning back in early August and talked about The Machine there too. This is too great. – The Machine’s mask comes towards the end, 7:30 mark when the phone call comes, closer to 8 minute mark when the mask comes out.

  4. Matt says:

    PtB, how I miss you so.

  5. Robert Stack says:

    Next on Unsolved Mysteries… Why 29 young adults in Japan are speaking with an incoherent Midwestern drawl.

  6. C. Lou says:

    I’m stunned. And I can’t help but completely loving Brian Wilson. He’s a weird, weird dude.

  7. Cole Handsome says:

    I always enjoyed dressing up in little outfits with Pat Burrell, but he would asking me what the fuck I was looking at.

  8. I was once told a story by the brother of a woman who went home with Pat one night when he lived in CC Philly, which is summed up by Pat donning something that was descried to be very similar to this, and while giving it to the chick, he spoke the words, “How does it feel to get fucked by Pat Burrell.”

    I was never sure whether to believe the story until now.

  9. FanSince09 now Former Fan says:

    It’s probably Coal Hammel

  10. And not that anyone needs more proof, but there’s also this dumb article about some alleged bad-philly-fan behavior that connects Wilson & Burrell:

  11. Steve Jeltz's Jury Curl Juices says:

    You have to f*cking love meech & his Arizona connections to Pat the bat. Good stuff

  12. Irish Pub bathroom stall says:

    But a true champion, face to face with his darkest hour, will do whatever it takes to rise above. A man fights, and fights, and then fights some more. Because surrender is death, and death is for pussies.

  13. johnny says:

    All chaps are assless. Otherwise they’d be leather pants

  14. Camille says:


  15. 2nd schtreet phan in SD says:

    I need a Silkwood scrub after watching that. One can only imagine what happened after the cameraman left.

  16. says:

    Yeah, I know johnny, but “assless chaps” just looks better than plain ol’ “chaps”.

    btw, I’m wearing a sleeveless tank top right now.

  17. Nick the Trick says:


  18. GTO says:

    you, sir, should get a Pulitzer for your investigative reporting prowess

  19. Trich says:

    I’d really like Brian Wilson if I didn’t hate him so much.

  20. Jon says:

    This is too awesome for words.

  21. PHLinPDX says:

    Well played Brian Wilson. You’ve taken my slight hatred for you and turned it around now that i see you’re just a goofball.

  22. Greg V. says:

    Pat the Gimp!

  23. Arena says:

    4, bring back the bat. i was just saying how id like to time share dom with magglio ordonez, a right handed bat with some pop. or.. we could bring back pat. chase and pat were good friends, i think thatd be good for the club house. two phillies from 08 i wish we had for club house purposes (to bring back that Xfactor, that fight in us), pat the bat and brett the wife beater. In my opinion, you need that personality, that charisma, that FIGHT in the dugout.

    anyone remember when brett got everyone together to prank KK into thinking he got traded to the japanese leagues? that was classic.

  24. Raul Ibanez says:

    So this is what that meant when they said I would never be as good of a “clubhouse guy” as Pat, huh?

  25. Gabrielle says:

    @ Arena:

    We may need that FIGHT in the dugout, but we don’t need it including ball gags and leather handcuffs.

  26. Phan Stuck in nyc says:

    JEEZE, gross, that’s just . . . eww. I need to be sick. Somebody sandblast the filth off me.

    But … um let me get this straight, so is he Brian Wilson’s love slave or the other way around? heh heh

  27. Joe D says:

    How am I supposed to root against the Bat? How??!!?!

  28. says:

    You can’t, Joe D. I’ve tried.

  29. joe (required) says:


  30. Joe D says:

    Last night I was trying to enjoy his failure to bring in a guy from 3rd with less than 2 outs as he did his ass out-hands up move and I just couldn’t get into it.

  31. Phan Stuck in nyc says:

    Well sorry guys, I’ll admit it I’ve never liked him much … and I have no explanation.

  32. Brian Wilson says:

    Pat takes care of me with his bat……..isn’t he sexy

  33. Greenman! says:

    I’m wearing laceless slippers

  34. Burrell is gay says:

    what a homo………freakin freak

  35. Adam Eaton says:

    Uhhhhhhhhhh should I change my gravatar now?

  36. stinkbug says:

    he looks kinda flabby.

  37. smfiv says:

    This puts the Burrell Man or Machine t-shirts from spring training 2008 on a whole new level.

  38. Burrell is gay says:

    Brian Wilson looks better then me with clothes off……..just sayin

  39. The Gimp from Pulp Fiction says:

    I am so disturbed by this….

  40. Arena says:

    25, RAUUUUUUUUUUULLL!!!! 26, no ball gags and hand cuffs in the dugout, jokes or not. and as long as its fun and games outside of the clubhouse, bring back the bat

  41. 2nd schtreet phan in SD says:

    Said guy’s video still wins. If Burrell and Wilson are a couple, who’s the top?

  42. Danny says:

    I miss Pat so much, mostly for the stories like this, not so much the underachieving play.

  43. Cole Handsome says:

    I think we should protest the NLCS. Pat Burrell stole our safewords.

  44. hoser says:

    Meech, I’m fucking speechless…….

    Although it does appear that “The Machine” has put on a few pounds.

  45. James says:

    The name Machine comes from a character in the 1999 film “8mm” who wore a similar mask.

  46. jake says:

    wow. that’s insane. i think brian wilson is a funny guy man, hate to say it.

  47. The DE Contingency says:

    Hi I’m Brian Wilson! I’m so edgy and cool, and I say random things on TV because I’m so complex! I love bands you’ve never heard of, and I’m clearly unique.

    fuck off, fag.

  48. Street Fan says:

    Pat Burrell is somebody I’ll never miss. Said. *tilts head* SAID!!!!

  49. maggie says:

    Brian Wilson, you are trying too hard. And it’s not working. Pat — come back to Philly– all is forgiven.

  50. Kevin Wilson says:

    How can anyone not love Pat Burrell? The dude just doesn’t give a shit, and is hilarious.

    Was he called the machine before the Brett Myers t-shirt or was this comment referring to that?

  51. Coley for Prez says:

    You will never be as hot as me………….you FAT FUCK!

  52. Defenestrate Wheels says:

    Hide you keeds, hide yo wife and hide yo bull pen caaaause Pat the Bat is rapin eurrybody up in he-yah

  53. Grandpa Moyer says:

    see y’all later!

  54. Morandini's Triple Play says:

    Its times like this that I miss Amanduh.

  55. Maera says:

    My douche alarm goes off whenever Brian Wilson speaks. You can try to dispute it but the alarm is pretty accurate.

  56. b12 says:

    @58. Same. I want to be attracted to him but I just can’t make it happen.

  57. Wayne says:

    This bolg is great.

  58. PhillyPhanInIthaca says:

    It all clicked when someone said Man or Machine.

    You see the Machine walk and you just KNOW that’s Burrell’s walk. In left field, around the batter’s box. You know you’ve seen it before. And now it’s confirmed.

    That’s great hustle, Meech. Proud to read this site daily.

    And yeah, I enjoy Brian Wilson thoroughly now. Not afraid to say it.

  59. My B Weezy/Machine video is the most comprehensive on the topic online

  60. Need to know basis says:

    b12, you are indeed a girl, aren’t you?

  61. Scott says:

    “Heathcliff Slocumb says:
    October 28, 2010 at 12:19 pm

    I was once told a story by the brother of a woman who went home with Pat one night when he lived in CC Philly, which is summed up by Pat donning something that was descried to be very similar to this, and while giving it to the chick, he spoke the words, “How does it feel to get fucked by Pat Burrell.”

    I think he asked the same question to the owner of the Tampa Bay Rays…

  62. Scott says:

    I just threw up in my mouth a lot.

  63. FanSince09 now Former Fan says:

    I may have to go as the Machine for halloween now. My original thought was to go as Hammels and wear my Phils jersey with a stuffed dog in a backpack and have dildos everywhere to indicate his high DSUHA

  64. Nantucket Man says:

    So FanSince09 Halloween
    Will traverse about as “Machine”
    As such he will forgo
    His puppy and dildo
    But will still get his backpacked, know what I mean?

  65. will.H says:

    can we get a tyler walker update. oh there he is

  66. b12 says:

    oh yeah, i should’ve mentioned that I’m having trouble being attracted to bw cause I’m a straight man. JK LOL, totes a girl

  67. will.H says:

    just look at Matt Cain, he looks like a grown up Thurman Murman

  68. Ryan says:

    God, I love this website.

  69. Howard Eskin says:


  70. Ron Washington says:

    Snap! No runs in the 4th.
    Anybody got a bump?

  71. illafifth says:

    God, I miss Pat. And girl, if it helps.

  72. Girl who got groped and seemed cool with it but wasn't happy at all about it says:

    Don’t get any ideas, buddy.

  73. Wheels from Marple Newtown says:

    Geez, the Bat is one goofy guy. Man o man has he gotten mileage outta that gimp bit. That reminds me of the time Hudler wanted to act out the Taxi Driver scene but with me as the mirror. Can you believe it? What a goofball. But this Burrell is a sicko. A real zany character. Imagine a clubhouse full of these nutbags. It’d be like my old line dancing class all over again ah geez.

    I hope he brings that thing back to me.

  74. Nino Espinosa says:

    Ya know, I consider myself a pretty open minded guy. I am a little older, fun loving, married with kids, and enjoy a good porn once in a blue moon.
    However, anyone who brings out a gimp is in another time zone. While completely and totally hysterical, its also very disturbing.
    This, coupled with Aubrey Huffs thong wearing and Wilsons man love for his dog really makes one wonder WTF goes on in their clubhouse? I know its San Fran and all, but comon?

  75. Watrick says:

    Brian Wilson was actually an actor in the movie “Wet Hot American Summer”, right?

  76. I’m wearing a leg-less birthday suit.

  77. Bozo says:

    Nice going Rangers.

  78. Bozo says:

    What I meant to say was “Stop fucking sucking, Rangers”

  79. Trying to break the meds says:

    i tried to justify it in so many ways looking for the least point of idiocy to grasp upon and hold with a death grip of the mercinary newfound fan. But everyway i shook it out it came up Texas Rangers/ DallasCowboys/ Texas Cowboys/ Dallas Rangers. No I can not do it i will nodo it i will become a brother of Ben before i fall to the depths of hell and root for tejas

  80. i don't like jokes says:

    giants are about to be up 2-0 in the world series…balls.

  81. Guess who is 2 wins away from winning the World Series?

    Feel better, now?

    Has Ryan Howard gotten that off-season surgery to remove the bat from his shoulder?!?!?!

  82. i don't like jokes says:

    literally gay.

    if my team was up 2-0 in the world series i wouldn’t be on the blog of the team they beat in the nlcs. you don’t really like baseball do you

  83. Greenman! says:

    hey everyone! Jeff Francouer has the chance to be the final out! hooray!

    Fyi #85 thats the Nick Swisher troll under another moniker

  84. Greenman! says:


  85. Bozo says:

    It’s probably Nick Swisher or some other retard

  86. Bozo says:

    Oh wow at that final score… Is this the same Rangers team that beat the Rays and Yankees? Well at the very least this will probably end all “Cliff Lee vs Roy Halladay” arguments, I’m ok with that.

  87. CarlosBeltransexual says:

    Where is our Nick Swisher troll? Spitting on Mrs. Lee? Having bin Laden knock a building down on him? Getting bedbugs?

  88. Lynniemac says:

    As soon as I saw the video I thought “well, that’s certainly Pat’s walk.” And to think we could have had him for $300K.

  89. The party in the Castro, Potero Hill, Bernal Heights, Chinatown, Cole Valley, the Haight, Pacific Heights, Russian Hill etc………………

    All night long!

  90. Greenman! says:

    don’t forget the lube!

  91. Greenman!: Guess what? Your team f**king choked!

    Couldn’t happen to a better fanbase!

  92. Pete D says:

    Didn’t those T shirts they handed out before the 2008 season say “man or machine?” on them? Forgive me, i didn’t read all 90 comments, but I thought I remember that.

  93. Greenman! says:

    lol you’re Swisher and you’re pathetic. You are not very effective at making me angry. Try again!

  94. Greenman: I’m not nick swisher! Who the f*ck is he? Some scrub who used to play for the A’s?

    Hey greenman! You’re Phillies team isn’t that good. You’re lucky you won a world series against Tampa!

    Typical Philly scumbag! 1 Title in 30 years?

  95. Greenman! says:

    you forgot to add clowns at the end of that.

  96. Pedro says:

    so long Jamie Moyer

  97. says:

    keepin it one hunnert.

  98. Where were the Giants fans the last 10 years? says:

    “Typical Philly scumbag! 1 Title in 30 years?”

    hahahahaha @ Giants, when was the last time the Giants won the World Series???

    Fucking moron.

    You backed your way into a division title with the monumental collapse of the Padres, beat an injury-riddled and inept Braves squad, then managed to find yourself in the NLCS against the team with the best record in all of baseball in a huge offensive slump.

    And actually, the Rays in 2008 were FAR better than the Rangers in 2010 – a team you haven’t even won the series against yet!

    All the Phillies did in 2008 was beat an explosive Rockies team in the first round, a red-hot Manny-led Dodgers team, and a Rays team that boasted the best starting pitching staff and bullpen in all of baseball – and don’t leave out the fact that Tampa’s offense was among the top as well.

    Learn a little something about baseball before you come trolling on another teams BLOG.

    I bet you were the guy in the stands at your first Giants game of the season last night holding the “Ring around the Posey” sign last night, weren’t you?

  99. DR Heller says:

    Who cares……People need to lighten up.

  100. chen says:


  101. chen says:

    Still have not watched ONE SECOND of this Series.

  102. chen says:

    If I wasn’t so bitter about the Giants and THIS GUY IN PARTICULAR, I would find this very funny.

    ………………………………….okay it’s funny.

  103. Comic Book Guy says:

    worst World Series ever

  104. LanceParrish says:

    Hilarious and a little disturbing all at the same time. I keep checking the site a couple of times of day hoping that all of the shirts reappear if just for an hour or so.

  105. Kenny Junod says:

    RAJ should have signed pat when he got cut by TB. He would have made the lineup more patient at the plate & a better option than rauuul

  106. YOU TRY TOO HARD says:

    Some of you guys just try too hard to be witty especially in the attempted comebacks at trolls.

    For example, cheapshot #90 had to say something about New Yorkers getting buildings dropped on them by Bin Laden. Not cool.

  107. RedBurb says:

    @101 – Phils beat the Brewers the first round in 08 not the Rockies.

  108. blah blah blah says:

    right he should’ve said helping muslims build mosques less than a block away from where bin laden dropped buildings.

    wonder what the ratings have been for this world series..anyone heard anything?

  109. Ray says:


    People shouldn’t comeback at them at all. Ignore them and they will go away. The reason they come here is to get us all riled up and snap back at them. If you take that away, then it’s pointless to troll here.

  110. illafifth says:

    I also love Chris Rose’s laugh at 1:07 and the image of him holding his face in absolute horror, lol… Pat really does seem like one big handsome ball of contradictions, doesn’t he—quiet/wild man, humble/vain, unemotional/’THE FUCK YOU LOOKING AT, MOTHERFUCKER??!!’ Nothing against Raul, I really do miss #5, though.

  111. Tom says:

    Kenneth in the 212 beat you to this story days ago on the 25th!

  112. says:

    Perhaps. But Kenneth in the 212 didn’t CONFIRM it with picture evidence now did he?

  113. James Anthony Happ says:

    What a nasty fellow.

  114. Greenman! says:

    look out Tom, Meech reads the comments!

  115. Phillyfan1966 says:

    Does anyone remember the movie 8mm with Nicholas Cage…..hello…….the person who wore that outfit in the snuff video was called the machine. MAYBE that is why he is calling him the machine and not becasue it is Pat Burrell

  116. Nikita says:

    This, coupled with Aubrey Huffs thong wearing and Wilsons man love for his dog really makes one wonder WTF goes on in their clubhouse? I know its San Fran and all, but comon?

    One of the Spanish game announcers said walking though the San Fran locker room made his skin crawl. Or words to that effect. Well, if there was any doubt exactly WHY Burrell showed up butt nekkid at Aubrey’s dorm so many years ago…it has officially been obliterated.

    wtf is happening to babsell?

  117. Greenman! says:

    haha I just read over at the 700 level Jose Guillen was on HGH, cheating Giants!!!!

  118. bigmyc says:

    Phillyfan from 1966, perhaps Burrell has been dubbed a “Machine” because of his affinity for that Gimp getup…

    Or maybe it’s all coincidence that the word, “machine” has been doubly involved.

    Me thinks that there a quite a few skanks in the Delaware Valley area who have seen this ensemble first hand.

  119. James Fayleez says:

    THE BIG BANG THEORY and CSI were the most watched shows last nigth at 8 and 9 respectively.

    People would rather watch nerds and crime drama than this awful World Series.

  120. Ron Noel says:

    the comments & names are the best part of this f*cking site

  121. Nikita says:

    OK, I was on my way to lunch and that image kept nagging in my head, that white hairy pudgy body in assless chaps, and I couldn’t quite place it…then in a flash it came to me: JOHN TRAVOLTA.
    (Has anyone seen the latest tabloid pics of him in gay steam room?)

    Pat fricken Burrell mouthin off to Roy Halladay…PtB, if you get a WS parade this year, remember to at least call Rent-A-Chick so you don’t have to bring your damn dog instead of a real date and the whole world ends up speculating whether or not you’re inhabiting a leather-lined assless-chapped closet.

  122. Von Hayes says:

    I can hear the “gimp” chant next time The Bat come to CBP…whatever uniform he is wearing.

  123. AP says:

    As always well done, meechie. This is just too ridiculous for words. My coworker in San Fran said he “knew it!” when I sent this link to him.

  124. Milt Thompson says:

    I’m going to Seattle boys!

  125. Where were the Giants fans the last 10 years? says:

    Good call 110, my apologies. I was thinking of the NLDS last year. I should have known better, I was at Game 1 of the 2008 NLDS (I’m sure you all remember how interesting Lidge made the 9th inning).

    2008 NLDS only consisted of Shaney bangin a salami off Sabathia – the last GS in the postseason by any team, mind you. Too bad we wasted a couple salami opportunities this postseason.

    What frustrates me is that the Giants aren’t even THAT great of a team. They just got hot at the right time – which is what postseason baseball is all about, so kudos to them. The only way to change that is to expand the playoffs and include more teams so it’s more of a marathon rather than a sprint. But I also understand that doing this would cut the regular season short, and I’m not so much a fan of that.

    You just have to embrace the system that is in place – sometimes it benefits you, most times it does not.

    Although, I would be in favor of adding additional wild cards and giving the top two teams in each league a bye in the first round, just like the NFL. It seems to work out pretty well for them, and only having 4 teams in the postseason in each league doesn’t work in today’s sports. Having teams eliminated from playoff contention at the all-star break hurts the game as far as fans are concerned, and it compromises the integrity of the game.

    Maybe with two additional wold cards the Pirates might make a run at a spot :)

  126. Arsenal_Giant says:

    Enjoying the World Series Fillie Phans? Who cares! Go Giants!

  127. T says:

    Isn’t “the machine” the character from the movie 8mm? Same costume….same name

  128. Lynniemac says:

    Pat Burrell isn’t The Machine. Tyler Walker is.

  129. Halley says:

    Brian Wilson = Zangief

  130. Milt Thompson says:

    @129 yeah I love soccer! nice low scoring game, only get one score at a time. Thats the way real winners do it. Keep it up man!

  131. Bobby D says:

    @ 129, you could literally post under any name you choose and you settle on Arsenal_Giant? What’s the purpose of the underscore? Go shit in a sandbox, ya fucking wang.

  132. Bobby D says:

    Also, I think Burrell got the machine suit from John Kruk’s yard sale. I saw it on the rack but the odor… god, the odor…….kept me from trying to sell it on eBay.

  133. Kenny Fuckn Powers says:

    I love all the shit talking on this site!

  134. SFLOCAL says:


    ” The DE Contingency says:
    October 28, 2010 at 3:30 pm
    Hi I’m Brian Wilson! I’m so edgy and cool, and I say random things on TV because I’m so complex! I love bands you’ve never heard of, and I’m clearly unique.
    fuck off, fag.”


  135. Nick Swisher says:

    Why doesn’t this surprise me? A former Phillie dressed like that? Figures.

  136. jared says:

    hmmm.. no wonder why brian wilson walks so weird all the time…i think he has been taking a little something of pat burrells

  137. David says:

    As a die-hard Giant fan and an intelligent baseball watcher, all these trollish comments embarrass me. Please do not judge all Giants fans by the lowest common denominator that troll Phillie blogs for kicks. But anyway…

    First off, I love B-Weez, and if he was anyone else’s closer their fans would too. He’s a fucking weirdo, but he’s EXACTLY what I want in pitcher tasked to shut down a ballgame. He said it best in the Jim Rome interview. You gotta be a little off, and have that “fuck you” mentality. That’s him in a nutshell.

    As far as the NLCS goes, the Giants overperformed and the Phillies underperformed, simple as that. The Phillies were the better team on paper but the Giants outplayed them, and just like #128 said, that’s playoff baseball.

    Sorry if this series sucks for you guys, but I’m loving every fucking second of the lopsidedness. Not having a title in 56 years will do that to you. It should make you feel better that the national media seems to give just as big of a shit about this as you guys, FOX and ESPN’s crews are absolutely sleepwalking through this one.

    And yeah, there’s a shit ton of bandwagoners over here, but you can’t tell me that a bunch of Phillies “fans” didn’t start coming out of the woodwork when you guys started winning the East consistently, right?

  138. Great says:

    Great post, David.

  139. Great says:

    Oh and the Phillies can have Pat back, he has been less than worthless this post season. I take that back, he has drawn a couple of walks; credit where credit is due.

  140. Dr. Cool says:

    The Whiff Machine is more like it.

  141. SFsoFuckYou says:

    Hey, uncle Milty – who the fuck cares if it’s a low scoring game? Are you retarded? So, for your simple little mind, if we applied football scoring to a baseball game, all of a sudden a 21-7 game becomes a “high-scoring affair”.

    Brush your teeth. Your breath smells like Jason Werths smelly hair.

  142. SFsoFuckYou says:

    Go cry to your mommas Philly!

  143. Lynniemac says:

    You know, it’s funny – when the Phillies won it all, I was drunk and euphoric for three days and didn’t go anywhere near my computer.

  144. Greenman! says:

    I know Lynnie, it’s pretty sad. I actually feel bad for them.

  145. Jayson Werth says:

    I use Herbal Essences and my hair actually smells very nice thank you.

  146. ZenBen says:

    This is freakin’ awesome!


    All the haters can go ef themselves. Giants shocked the world and a pitching dynasty is happening now.

  147. Greenman! says:

    yes… pitching dynasty… keep telling yourself that… is a monumental Padres collapse every year also part of that dynasty?

  148. Greenman! says:

    Also they shocked nobody, because no one was watching.

  149. Ozzie Guillen says:

    ah say sabba BLOOBA, Madison Bumgarner ching chong ching chong danny devito ching chong the view

    an affa all oba safrasassa gian of winnay a worsars

  150. Raucer says:

    It’s a leather jockstrap. Not chaps, assless chaps, or leather pants. And a full harness and a mask.

  151. Jay says:

    @Greenman, Say what you want. Like anybody cares about the Phillies. H20 is pathetic. Have fun next year when you don’t make it to to the playoffs, while the Giants continue to dominate with Lincecum, Bumgarner, and Cain. Cheaper, younger, and way better.

  152. Creeped Out says:

    @ #124 Nikita, he showed up to the parade with his dog.

    He obviously has a few screws loose. He either needs extensive therapy or a lobotomy. I vote for the latter.

    What’s worse is kids like baseball and idolize the players. You laugh at him now, but would you really want your kids to see things like this?

  153. obsessivegiantscompulsive says:

    FYI to author: From my understanding from viewing various video snippets, the reference to the Machine came when Rose confronted Wilson with video evidence of what walked behind him (Wilson played dumb) in an episode of Cheap Seats (unable to discern whether that was same show or later show). Then it was brought up again in the interivew after they beat the Phillies.

    To those dissing the Giants, all I have to say is that it’s very interesting that teams seem to go into an offensive funk whenever they face the Giants, all season long, in fact. The Braves might have been hampered by injuries but look at the players they did field, and their offense at the end of the regular season was still pretty good with that lineup. During the regular season, the Giants played the Phillies to a 3-3 series tie; I was just glad they decided to go with Blanton instead of starting Halladay on 3 days rest. Texas supposedly would kick ass because Bengie Molina, former Giants starting catcher for first half of 2010, would tell them all of the Giants pitchers’ weaknesses.

    About the comment that the Giants got in because of SD’s faltering, that’s true, but what’s also true is that they got there based on their pitchers overperforming greatly in the first half. Pitchers considered middle to back rotation talents were pitching like aces. They were exposed at the end, as the baseball gods took away what they gave early.

    In addiion, while the Giants for the season squeeked in, that represented all the various incarnations of the Giants during the season, like when Rowand, Molina, and Bowker were starting. The team that most resembled the team that went into the playoffs basically started when Posey took over as starting catcher. Once he did, the team basically put up a .700 winning percentage the rest of the way, and continued that into the playoffs.

    And that’s basically the team the Giants hope to field in 2011, assuming that they can resign Huff (pretty sure that happens) and Uribe (not as sure, but good chance). They have the whole pitching staff back for sure if they want it (and they just announced that they do, but you never know what happens with arbitration players until they sign). They announced today that they are pursuing Huff and Uribe back to the team, and sounds like Renteria’s willing to come back as bench player, so if he doesn’t retire, the Giants could sign him back for bench. Burrell, I’m not as sure of, but he also said that he’s willing to come back as bench player.

    And the Giant did what they did without Posey and Bumgarner for half the season. If Sandoval returns to his usually hitting way (he should if he can keep his weight down), that’s another boost, that should counter any declines on the part of Huff and other older players. But looking at three year performances, if the old guys can keep to that level, they should repeat easily.

    San Diego, on the other hand, as I noted, their pitching really overperformed. Plus, sounds like A-Gon is on the block, that he wants to become a free agent, so they will probably have to trade him. Game over.

    Arizona just released Adam LaRoche and they were horrible WITH him last season. They have a nice group of young starting pitchers, they can be like SD was in 2009, ready to take step up the next season, in 2011. They played nicely under Kirk Gibson at the end of the season. I think it depends on who they pick up for 1B. If they steal Huff away, that would bring the Giants back to the other teams, I think.

    LA I expect to suffer more from their ownership divorce, as it should drop their overall budget because the owner only owns the Dodgers, and therefore must pay the divorce lawyer with money from the Dodgers. Plus, their young “stars” (Loney, Martin) appear to be more like complementary parts. Nice that they retained Lilly, they are probably contenders but if Loney and Martin continue to underperform, I just don’t see how they win it all.

    Colorado is the most likely competitor with the Giants. Great starters up and down, great offense, led by young up-the-middle gold glover, Tulo. My main hope is that Ubaldo just had a fluke first half and that he’ll be more like what he was in the second half, good but not totally dominating. They just traded Olivo, who gave them unexpected production, and apparently is hoping Iannetta will finally take over the starting catcher position finally, after, what 3-4 seasons? I think they will be battling for the title as usual for them in recent seasons, and that it will come to the end again.

    My only solace regarding that is that I think that the two will probably take two playoff spots, NL West title and wild-card spot, particularly if MLB moves to 2 wild card teams format. Can’t win it all unless you got an invite to the big dance!

  154. obsessivegiantscompulsive says:

    Oh, I should clarify, when I say “they overperformed” I was referring to the Padres’s pitchers, not the Giants. If anything, the Giants underperformed because Lincecum was lost for two months of the season, May and August. The other pitchers performed as they are capable of doing (and as most experts said that they are capable of doing). And, again, they will have Bumgarner starting for the whole season in 2011, not just half.

  155. powerhouse says:

    can’t wait for the giants to win again next yr. you Phillie fans are pathetic whining about going into a slump. Guess who put you there the Giant pitching just like they did to the Rangers. Hamilton and Guerrero one RBI, and Utley and Howard just a few.

  156. Charlie m says:

    Obviously the guy belongs in San Francisco … he’ll get around Castro far better than gets around in left field

  157. Curiousity says:

    Don’t think he’ll be back with the Giants though I could be wrong. He’ll want more money than he’s worth. He can’t DH very well. He hits better when he plays the outfield but he’s a bad outfielder. Who knows.

  158. Ariana says:

    Admire this film, John Travolta acts a good part in the film

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