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Sep

2009

Cole Hamels Loves Comcast’s Hi-Speed Internet Power Boost

Posted by meech.one at 10:45 am ET 39 Comments

When your life moves as fast as highfalutin pitcher Cole Hamels’ does, you expect your internet to keep up. That’s why Cole Hamels uses Comcast. This way, even when Cole is on the road (he must take his internet with him), he can watch crappy highlights of non-MLB games, rock out to the latest Good Charlotte album or whatever emo-sappy California music it is that Cole listens to, and reply to all those “WHEN ARE YOU COMING HOME!?” e-mails from Heidi.

It’s COM-FUCKING-CASTIC!

Read More: Cole Hamels, Comcast SportsNet, Endorsements

39 Comments on “Cole Hamels Loves Comcast’s Hi-Speed Internet Power Boost”

gm-carson Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 10:47 am
I have been searching for the past week or so on YouTube for this video and couldn’t find it. Congrats to you.
Jdashdog Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 10:52 am
Yo meech, did you happen to catch the commercial thanking the fans last night? It showed a guy fist pumping and jumping around in the Jimmy&Chase&Ryan&Cole shirt for a good 3 or 4 seconds
Dash Treyhorn Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 10:57 am
Comcast is fast, but its change up is devastating.
maria Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 10:57 am
@JDashdog: I saw that! I wasn’t sure if it was, but a couple of other people here have mentioned it.

Regarding Cole, I don’t think he’s said no to anything during this offseason.
meech.one Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 10:57 am
Of course I did Jdash, it’ll be up later on today. Pretty cool, right?
Manda Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 11:06 am
There are actually three of these commercials: one for each service that Comcast offers. And it wasn’t until I was at my parents’ house in Mahopac, New York (roughly 40 mi. north of NYC) that I was able to see them. What got me was that my mom, a die-hard Yankees fan, looked right at me said, “Cole Hamels. Who is he? Should I know who he is?” I stared at her, stunned, and while wearing my Hamels shirt-jersey nodded once. “Yeah, Mom. You should.”

Has anyone in PA seen these commercials on their own Comcast service? Because them showing in New York just… makes no sense..
Watrick Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 11:40 am
Yeah, it makes me think about how I can like an athlete for what they do on the field, but could care less about them off the field. This just makes him look stupid and strange.
RSR Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 11:40 am
hey, Brett owned up to using a Slingbox to keep up with the games while rehabbing/smashing his face in Florida:

http://ow.ly/lusH

“But, like I said, I’m not coming back to take anybody’s job. I just want to come back and help. The main thing for me right now is just to get back and be part of the team. Because they’re doing all this without me and it (stinks) for me. Because I’m wanting them to win every night and not being there to be a part of what’s going on is tough.”

(How do you keep up?)

“The greatest thing ever. It’s called the Sling Box. . .I can watch it on my computer.”

http://www.slingmedia.com/
Phylan Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 11:51 am
An athlete . . . advertising a good or service???? How stupid and strange!

@Manda, I think it’s national because I’ve seen it in DC too.
Watrick Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 11:54 am
Yeah, but at least when Joe Namath was advertising shaving cream for woman’s legs, he had a sense of humor about himself-Cole seems to take his “image” way too serious, and he just comes off looking like a dork.
joe l Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 11:55 am
@Manda – don’t you know that nothing exists outside of the NYC metro area? The earth simply ends in a 50 mi radius from that city.
Phylan Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 11:57 am
He’s just reading a script some just-competent-enough ad company writer is giving him, and then getting a paycheck. You think he considers this part of his “image?” The fuss that people have made about Cole doing commercials is so goddamned ridiculous. Do you guys ever listen to local radio for all the dumb shit Chooch and Victorino do, and have to act straight-faced about? Give me a break.
James Fayleez Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 11:59 am
My God if he wasn’t our World Series MVP, he would be regarded as such a total d1cksmoker.
Watrick Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
Well, being that there was a cover article about Cole and what he’s been doing to brand his image, yeah, I’ll take that a little different than some schlep doing a car dealership add for a cheap car.
bigmyc Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
For a guy named, “Hollywood,” he sure can’t act a lick. I guess that whole nickname thing is one of those ironicly named ones like calling a big guy, “Tiny” or a a dumb loser heathen in high school, “College Bound.”

I’ve seen better acting chops from William Shatner’s wax replica.
sarahKNUCKLEUP Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
that commercial evoked a huge facepalm from me the other day.

as did this a few months ago:
http://deadspin.com/5354854/cole-hamels-continues-his-slow-transformation-into-a-doily
Heathcliff Slocumb Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
If I lived my life according to Cole Hamels, I would go to Dunkin Donuts every day, live in the residences at Two Liberty place, make sure I get 3 servings of dairy every day, surf the web using over priced Comcast internet, and eat Peanut Chews like they’re no longer made in Philadelphia.

Anything else? I know I gotta be missing a few.
Watrick Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
He’s named Hollywood because of two reasons, A-He’s from Southern California. B-He performs great when the big lights are on him.

But yeah, he can’t act at all. I’m not looking for good acting-but the attempts of it-and how it falls so short, just makes him look even worse. Victorino just reading something as fast and clear as he can for a radio spot is totally different than lounging in a lavish apartment talking about working so hard, and strange hours.
BigMiles Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
He reminds me of the guy in the beginning of this awful commercial….

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YytKJOhyyrA
Due Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 1:15 pm
I think this about sums it up.
http://www.philebrity.com/2009/09/08/no-really-now-will-you-believe-us-when-we-tell-you-how-heidi-hamels-is-ruining-everything-beautiful-that-was-once-cole-hamels/
Bobbie Joe Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
I live in the Philly area and have seen all 3 spots. They are just running on Comcast Cable TV, so if you have satellite you won’t see them.
Kevin M Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 1:29 pm
At least this is a step up from his New Era commercial. “Who are you?” is one of the worst lines in baseball acting history.

He should see Jimmy Rollins for some pointers.
Lynniemac Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
Dash Treyhorn FTW.

Heathcliff, you should also wear New Era caps so that you can give Colbert pitching advice on the mound after he walks a Dodger. Now, if you’ll excuse me, Comcast isn’t even available in my area, but his commercial is so completely awesome I must go order it anyway.
Heathcliff Slocumb Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
Oh, right. Thanks Lynnie. Me forgots about that one.

What great product will Cole bring to my life next? I hope he endorses Snuggies. Always wanted one-o those…
T-Mac Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
Now THIS IS SOMETHING I CAN APPRECIATE! It’s so great to see Cole Hamels exploring marketing opportunities whenever they become available. Which reminds me, no trip to Citizens Bank Park is complete without a trip to the Majestic Clubhouse Store, now with game-used authenticated merchandise from the Phillieeeesssss.
Lynniemac Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
Even worse than T-Mac’s sibilant s at the end of Philliessssss is the one everytime he says RBIsssssssssssss. Makes me want to jam skewers into my ears.
astcter Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
Comcast is the BANE OF MY FUCKING EXISTENCE and Cole is hawking their shit. God damn it nothing is sacred. I died a little when i saw this last night.
Doc | bss.com Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
Cole Hamels Fact #927843: Eventually, Comcast will be called Colecast.
Jdashdog Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
Cole Hamels has an unsecured wireless network so I frequently sit outside his door and steal his internet
bigmyc Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
No, Watrick. He got the name from Ryan Howard who, when he saw Hamels walk into the clubhouse one day wearing a surfing shirt and flip flops with the loping hair to match, thought he looked the California part.

That was a tongue in cheek kinda joke.

Anyway you slice it, acting in a commercial is still acting…and he is still poor at it.
T-Mac Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 4:11 pm
@ Lynniemac

This site should start a collection of annoying McCarthy-isms. Like his predictable segues for one. Or how he refers to any hit as a “base hit.” I’m most annoyed by his plastic voice and obvious corporate whoring (his PHL 17 promos have extra emphasis).
Phylan Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 4:14 pm
For all of your office supply needs, who but W.B. Mason? Well I’ll tell you what, the Phillies are having a good day at the office today,
Lynniemac Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
@T-Mac: How about his forced cheerfulness (which is always welcome when the Phils are behind) and how every hit is either a looper or SMOKED?
Phylan Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 4:18 pm
so think Smithson Rail, the foremost ground delivery freight logistics company. And we’re getting a look at another reliable train today – the one they call Chooch.
Phylan Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
that’s Intimate Gesture Adult Toys, conveniently located in Kensington. And the Phillies are certainly liking the vibrations coming from another strong stick today, that being the bat of Chase Utley
T-Mac Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 5:20 pm
This is obscure, but my favorite moment this year came after a Phils home run earlier this season when the camera showed a Harrah’s Chester ad behind home plate that said Hometown Action. McCarthy chimes in, “now that’s some hometown action!” Those are some nice segues up there. You better send them in.

I know that Sarge and Wheels can be annoying, but at least they are sincere.
James Fayleez Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 5:30 pm
Wheels may be sincere, and not the yuckster that McCarthy is, but he is sooooo annoying with his “I have an explanation for every baseball situation imaginable.”
Lynniemac Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 5:39 pm
LOL at the Intimate Gesture Adult Toys.
NG Says:
September 30th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
why does cole hamels seem to be a little …..GAY?