Sorry to interrupt your morning ritual of checking your fantasy league’s waiver wire and/or spank wire, but we have just received some important information fromThe Inquirer that we simply must pass along:

CHARLIE MANUEL IS LOSING WEIGHT ON HIS NEW NUTRISYSTEM® DIET!

Jim Salisbury plays the role of an US Weekly reporter to perfection and bring us the specifics,

While Manuel is noticeably thinner than he was when the season began, he won’t say how much weight he has lost.

Some estimates have it at 30 pounds.

“It’s more than that,” the shrinking skipper said before last night’s game against the Florida Marlins. “But I won’t tell you how much – not until I hit my goal. When I do, I’ll tell you.”

Manuel would not disclose what his target weight was, but he did say he weighed 274 pounds when he started a NutriSystem diet during the final week of spring training. He said he is trying to keep his daily intake between 1,200 and 1,500 calories.

“I feel really good,” the 65-year-old Manuel said. “I got hung up for a while, but I’ve lost a few more pounds in the last week.”

You really can’t argue with the results, people — the man looks like a cot damn fitness model now:

You know you’re getting somewhere when you can once again tuck your gut inside your belt.

Well done, Charles.

If you’re anywhere near as curious about Charlie’s weight loss program as I am, follow me after the jump where I toss my intrepid reporter hat on and sign up for a NutriSystem® account as Charlie Manuel just to see what kind of food plan they recommend.  It’s kinda like that time Tyra dressed up in a fat suit minus the make-up and prosthetics.

So I headed on over to the NutriSystem® web site and gave Charlie’s vitals; including his height (6′4″), weight when he began the diet (274 lbs.), and DOB (1/4/1944).  From there, the complex NutriSystem® BMI calculator took these things and spit out this fancy graph-thingee that means absolutely nothing to an obnoxious stupid person such as myself, but I’m almost certain it means that Manuel was a fatty.

The site then recommends the tried-and-true “Men’s Silver Plan” for Uncle Cholly, which includes (but is not limited to):

• FREE Nutrihance® Over 60 Multivitamin
• Easy online ordering, home delivery—and no center visits
• Delicious foods with omega-3s, fiber and protein
• Low Glycemic Index carbohydrates
• FREE unlimited counseling and support
• 10-15% Auto-Delivery discount and FREE shipping available!

As soon as The Inquirer does a follow-up to this incredible story, or Charlie informs everyone that he hit his target weight, I’ll surely have an update FIRST right here on The Fightins dot com.

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