What happened?
You know cot damn well what happened.
The bats failed to show up against Josh Johnson and Ed Rapuano is a shitdick.
Who did what?
Jamie Moyer (L, 10-9) went 5 innings, gave up some weak hits, sweated a lot, and probably just lost his spot in the rotation.
Jimmy Rollins went 2 for 4 with a run scored after serving up some wooder ice at Rita’s:
Shane Victorino managed to get thrown out from center field by the aforementioned shitdick Rapuano.
Ryan Howard hit into two of the oddest, hardest hit double plays I have ever seen in my life and struck out looking on a ball that was just above his shoe laces.
Josh Johnson (W, 11-2) pitched 6 innings and then slipped Ed Rapuano a finski after the game.
Chris Coghlan went 4 for 6 with a couple RBI and earned the praise of Chris Wheeler. Over and over again.
Chris Wheeler celebrated a birthday (64) and got a cake with a muffin on it from Sarge Matthews:
Wes Helms hit a home run (2) and continues to annoy the shit out of everyone who watched him play for the Phillies.
Kyle Kendrick retired a major league batter.
What does this mean?
Figure it out for yourself, fucker.
What’s next for our heroes?
A day off.
Bonus baseball!
Fuck this guy:
29 Comments on “August 9 Game Recap: Marlins 12, Phillies 3”
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General
August 9th, 2009 at 10:44 pm
Who is this Meech? You should be thankful a young Florida Marlin that’s on fire right now is on your website.
August 9th, 2009 at 10:46 pm
oh shit!!!! i mispelled my name again!!! It’s not Chris COCKlan. It’s Chris Coughlan!!! Oh that got me wondering about my high school.
August 9th, 2009 at 10:47 pm
the only good thing about today was that blazing saddles was on tv. thank god for mel brooks.
August 9th, 2009 at 10:47 pm
OMGOSH! JRoll was at Ritas today, and I saw Howard at Dairy Queen tonight! Those buys love their ice cream.
August 9th, 2009 at 10:49 pm
hey why isn’t there people appreciating that I’m here?
August 9th, 2009 at 10:50 pm
“Tomorrow’s not looking good, plus Jamie’s job could be on the line.”
“With Josh Johnson on the mound, rounds will most likely be hard to come by so we have to let out everything we’ve been holding back on Thursday and Friday.”
I hate when I’m right on stuff like this. Say what you want about the ump call on Victorino (Fucking bullshit, but I loved every minute of the fans that WHOLE inning)…we didn’t come to play.
Timmy’s got the Cy Young locked up, but Josh Johnson deserves every vote he’ll get.
August 9th, 2009 at 10:51 pm
And anyone else see Ed Rapuano and see PAT BURRELL? Can’t just be me…
August 9th, 2009 at 11:19 pm
For all the fans who rag on Hamels for “being distracted” by commercials and such… I don’t hear a peep when it comes to Rollins and Big Brown.
August 9th, 2009 at 11:19 pm
Shane quote ” I love Ed. I love the guy. He’s one of those guys you can play grab-ass with and have fun with out there on the field.”
Exactly what is this grab-ass game? I would like to learn how to play.
Read the rest here.
http://blogs.delawareonline.com/philledin/2009/08/09/aug-9-victorino-vs-rapuano/
August 9th, 2009 at 11:21 pm
Gonzo, neither Howard nor Rollins ever claimed that they came into the season unprepared, as Hamels did.
August 9th, 2009 at 11:32 pm
Possibly the best game recap ever, despite the loss.
August 9th, 2009 at 11:35 pm
Lidge was lights out though. Or something.
August 9th, 2009 at 11:50 pm
Lidge was far from lights out tonight, but he’s been improving. I really don’t think today’s performance should be a big concern. The whole team was pretty much out of it when Shane got the big boot, and J-Dubb blew the big load.
August 9th, 2009 at 11:56 pm
im sry dash but this was the best recap ever, it cheered me up after that tough loss hah, when u recap dash its very robotic, u need a little more emotion in yours dash, itll make it more exciting to read
just sayin
August 10th, 2009 at 12:05 am
Carlos, that’s a good point. But I don’t know how one “prepares” in the off season. Cole is rail thin, probably doesn’t gain/lose weight, so his diet isn’t a factor. Nor does he need to lift weights. He’s in the same shape as he was when he was drafted.
I’m not trying to argue against you. I just don’t know what a guy like Cole can do to prepare for the season, aside from just not breaking any bones.
Also, the excuse that he did too much tv or DOES too much tv is silly to me.
August 10th, 2009 at 12:15 am
Kyle Kendrick retired a major league batter.
Seeing Kyle Kendrick retire a batter is as rare as back-to-back no hitters or an unassisted triple play.
August 10th, 2009 at 12:29 am
@Gonzo: His TV appearances, and magazine appearances probably aren’t on his mind when he’s pitching, but he’s really started to suck in an unprecidented way this year. The same year that he’s been recieving so much publicity. Combine that with his statement about “playing better when games get more serious”, it looks to me like mister Cole has let that MVP award go to his head.
Whatever it is… if I’m right or wrong… all Cole needs to do, to get people off of his back, myself included, is pitch well again. That’s it.
August 10th, 2009 at 12:32 am
i love this website…i lolled
August 10th, 2009 at 1:18 am
Is that J-Rollll?? In that pic>>
August 10th, 2009 at 3:17 am
I’ll tell you why we lost today (yesterday). Because half of our beloved team was at a UFC after party until 6 am drinkin beers… like who do they think they are? The 1993 Phillies?? Now they could drink beer and still show up to the game… Obviously that’s also why Victorino was prepared to unleash his impression of BJ Penn on Paul Bako’s dumbass.
I like meech’s game recaps better.
August 10th, 2009 at 3:19 am
… not to take anything away from Dash whose game recaps are also very good… lol
August 10th, 2009 at 7:49 am
Agree. Meech recap wins most angry/simultaneously funny blog post award.
August 10th, 2009 at 8:30 am
“That Chris Coghlan can really hit!!! He is a second basemen but they have him playing the outfield and that just goes to show you….What an athlete! He doesn’t quite have that same back leg buggywhip swing as that Hanley Ramirez but OH BOY! is he a promising hitter or what!? He sure is a lefty though. He goes out there in day game and wears that one long sleeve over his arm! Those lefties are just wired different!”
/Wheeler’d
August 10th, 2009 at 8:47 am
lol, fuckin’ Whitmore.
August 10th, 2009 at 9:11 am
fucking. phenomenal.
August 10th, 2009 at 11:35 am
@Whitmore@ Tug. I know huh?
August 10th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
funniest thing i’ve ever read. do recaps from now on.
agreed. kyle kendrick retiring a batter was a miracle.
August 10th, 2009 at 8:27 pm
@man: That’s what, .1 innings that Kendrick has registered then, right? Don’t call it a comeback, he’s been here for years.
August 10th, 2009 at 9:42 pm
Gah, I can’t believe I was at this crapfest. The highlight was chanting “Vic-to-rino” with the 45,000 other people who were pissed off and sweaty. At one point, Ed walked forward to break up a conference on the mound, and we booed so loud he turned around and walked back.
And I thought my Dobbsie had a decent day. HA!<girling up the Fightins.