The Fightins'
Open Game/Tailgate Thread 6/11: Phillies vs. Cubs
Posted by Danger Guerrero at 12:15 pm ET 36 Comments

4:05 on FOX and MLB.TV

Note: Your usual open-thread overlords Chris and Ryan are at Fightins Tailgate 2: Tailgate Harder, along with Meech, ZWR, and all the other cool kids. I really wanted to be there, but I had prior obligations to do dork stuff with nerds. Maybe I’ll make it next year for Fightins Tailgate: Tokyo Drift.

But instead of wallowing in self-pity, let’s look at the bright side. With everybody away, we’ve got full run of this place today. Think of it like your parents went away, and I’m your cool older brother. Call your friends, get a couple kegs, and send someone on a run across the bridge to grab a handle of Everclear. Invite that one cute girl/guy. You know the one I’m talking about. Let’s burn this mother to the ground.

One rule: No screwing on my bed.


CLIFF LEE (5-5) 3.62 ERA

PHILLIES: Conservative statistical estimates for today’s game: Cliff Lee – 9 IP, 0 R, 0 H, -4 BB, 24 K. Dom Brown – 12-12, 15 HR, 34 RBI. Chooch – 8-8, 2 2B, 1 PreciousPostgameInterview.

MATT GARZA (2-5) 4.07 ERA

CUBS: Conservative statistical estimates for today’s game: Matt Garza – 1 IP, 1 Frillon R, Tenfinity H, Dozens BB, Pfft K. Starlin Castro – 0-3, 3 K, 1 LookLikeA12YearOld.

36 Responses to “Open Game/Tailgate Thread 6/11: Phillies vs. Cubs”

  1. HummerX says:

    I call not getting the everclear. Bad experiences

  2. Danys "White Flag" Baez says:

    We’re gonna have so much fun today!!

  3. Danys "White Flag" Baez says:

    My girlfriend told me I can’t go to the tailgate or the game thread partyy =[

  4. merg says:

    Where’s the tailgate? We’re at the jetro lot, but there are no Fightins or ZWR shirts anywhere!

  5. Lynniemac says:

    Is it just the bed that’s off-limits for screwing, or is the floor included, too? I like to know my boundaries.

  6. @ Lynnie – Just the bed. Oh, and don’t touch my DVDs either.

  7. Pearl says:

    Precious is definitely the right word for Chooch.

  8. Stuck at home says:

    @Danger – I’m stuck at home too, studying for the bar exam. Any tips for success?

  9. @ Stuck at home – Dicking around on the computer making crappy MS Paint drawings seems to be working for me.

  10. DanB says:

    I’m 16!

  11. Fluffy Cloud says:


  12. Sy says:

    OMG Everyone at the tailgate thinks they’re just SOOOOOOOO cool cause they can drink and have fun and fucking wear shirts with motherfucking penguins on em and FUCK I WISH I WAS THERE!

    This thread better have some motherfucking penguin shirts!

  13. Lynniemac says:

    Danger – Okay, but I’m totally rifling your CD collection.

  14. The thunderstorm in South Philly means one thing: God did not approve of the Overrated Tailgate from Hell.

  15. Lynniemac says:

    Yeah, I’m sad I couldn’t be there, too.

  16. Foreskin Mills! says:

    Was there wiffle ball to be had?

  17. Foreskin Mills! says:

    What does cliff’s undershirt say? Texas?

  18. Baba says:

    Mann j roll is so lazy

  19. Sy says:

    @Foreskin, I believe it says “Alexis Texas’ #1 Fan”

  20. Is This Thing On? says:

    Hey speaking of douche bags, it’s T-Mac and Sarge on the radio, or Michael Milken on tv!

  21. DanB says:

    It’s his infamous BOOM t-shirt

  22. Phillies offense says:


  23. philajaime says:

    Well, if McCarver thinks the guy is funny, then by gum, he must be funny

  24. JohnMatrix says:

    that catcher just told the pitcher he had no marbles

  25. JohnMatrix says:

    lol cubs

  26. I Hate Dane Sardinha says:


  27. I Hate Dane Sardinha says:

    Chase Utley.

    Chase fuckin’ Utley!

  28. Danyiel says:

    Damn, this place is dead today. How about that Cliff Lee?

  29. San Francisco Giants says:


  30. Phillies offense says:

    ^ME TOO

  31. Greenman! says:


  32. San Francisco Giants says:


  33. boom says:

    ahahaaaa daaamn boysss this thread is BEAT. cliff fuckn lee and chase tore it up today…guess chase likes being a papi

  34. Colleen Wolfe's Newly Bleached Asshole says:

    Clean assholes are the best. You heard it here first.

  35. straight8balls says:

    I saw someone at the game yesterday with an old school red shirt that said “dope” on it. Anyone know where I can get one of those?

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