The Fightins'
Posted by Danger Guerrero at 12:41 pm ET 11 Comments

As some of you may know, in addition to my occasional posts here at The Fightins, I also contribute to the film and television blogs at Uproxx (Film Drunk & Warming Glow, respectively). Through my work at those sites, I’ve developed some insider connections in the entertainment industry. My sources are mostly on the periphery, but every now and again they’ll tip me off to some big Hollywood news before it breaks in other media outlets. And hoo boy, do we have a doozy today.

According to my sources, Daniel Craig is OUT as James Bond. Apparently producers are planning a reboot of the legendary franchise, starting with the Sean Connery classic Goldfinger, and wanted to tap a new leading man for the process. The casting has been kept tightly under wraps to this point, but I’ve heard the higher-ups had reached out to bankable leading men like Ben Affleck, Clive Owen, and Sam Worthington. However, my sources are telling me they’ve settled on a more ethnically diverse newcomer in an attempt to drive up international sales.

Coming Summer 2012, Phillies catcher Carlos “Chooch” Ruiz is James Bond in… Colefingor:

[big-ass ups to Weems, for putting a rush job on my dumb idea from this morning and turning it into that kickass Photoshop]

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  1. Franny Murt says:

    “The idol of every woman. The envy of every man.”

  2. Curran says:


  3. Defenestrate Wheels says:

    Anything with Chooch brightens my day, unless of course it is a slight towards him, then may God have mercy on your soul….

    That being said, I love the idea.

  4. CB says:

    Low point in this site’s storied history.

  5. Colleen Wolfe's Newly Bleached Asshole says:

    Just like I take fan questions on the post-game show, I also take thefightin’s blog readers’ questions about my asshole. Anyone? Anyone?

    • Gene Schall says:

      Yes, Colleen. Gene Schall, The Villanovan Sports and OpEd Editor. Does Michael Barkann bleach his asshole, and if not, what color is it now? And, if I may ask a second question, is his asshole always clenched, or is it just his personality?

  6. Manly Cole Hamels says:

    I’d see it. Perfect Viewing food? Ice cream.

  7. Johnny Don says:

    making fun of chooch’s mexican accent is gettin played out

  8. @ Johnny Don

    A) Chooch is Panamanian, not Mexican.
    B) Just like if he was my little brother, I’d freak out if someone outside the family did this. I only kid because I love. He’s easily my favorite Phillie.
    C) The day I find the concept of Carlos Ruiz as James Bond unfunny, I’m retiring from the Internet.

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Written by Danger Guerrero


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