The Fightins'
Jun
21
2011
Johnny sits down to watch DNL
Posted by Chris at 9:25 pm ET 54 Comments

There was some serious, serious diarrhea of the mouth going on over at the set of Daily News Live. Not only do we learn that Wilson Valdez is a better second baseman than Chase Utley, we also learn that COLE HAMELS SHOULD START FOR THE NATIONAL LEAGUE IN THE ALL-STAR GAME, HOWEVER HE SHOULD BE LEFT OUT OF THE PLAYOFF ROTATION. Sorry for using my outside voice but seriously, the fuck?

Naturally, @tonyisdynamic has made a video mocking this crap and in my opinion it is his finest work yet. Good work, Tony. /internet fist bump

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54 Responses to “Johnny sits down to watch DNL”

  1. Magowan says:

    Chase Utley has only made one play to his right ALL SEASON! This man has facts, people, and you refuse to listen to him!

  2. Gene Schall says:

    Those who can do. Those who can’t comment. Fucking fat ass quasi-Asiatic son of a bitch needs to shut his mouth.

  3. Howard Eskin says:

    Daily News Dead

  4. DP says:

    Marcus Hayes hates white people

  5. Ray says:

    This is why I love this website.

  6. Marcus "Beefy Tits" Hayes says:

    This is why I’m the greatest journalist this town has ever seen. If I had it my way, I would be the Phils’ GM and I’d ship Utley out in a heartbeat and make Valdez the everyday second baseman. But, the Phillies organization hates black people and would never allow one to have a position of power.

  7. precious one says:

    He can’t be serious with this bs.

  8. Jim says:

    I have a huge bruise on my forehead from all the facepalming I did while watching that whole segment. How Marcus Hayes has a job is baffling, he is literally the stupidest media member I’ve ever seen.

  9. CB says:

    Who is that plump white chick?

  10. Old Pee Stained Urinal at the Vet says:

    Fuck Marcus Hayes.

    ALL PRAISE TOMMY WISEAU

  11. Oliver says:

    Thanks for ruining The Room for me…

  12. Brad says:

    You are tearing me apart, Daily News Live!

  13. This is the second time I’m seeing this segment from DNL, and I still can’t believe it. Although, as soon as I saw the starting Panel was Marcus Hayes, Mike Kern, and Mandy Housenick; I instantly knew it was going to be a clusterfuck of irrational Chase Utley hatred. Mike Kern doesn’t know anything other than “Taigrr” and Golf. Mandy Housenick doesn’t know anything other than “Auras”. And Marcus Hayes doesn’t know anything other than undeserved smugness, arrogance, and pure ignorance. Yet these three are all held in high enough esteem to be welcomed on Comcast Sportsnets Premier program.

    That being said, awesome video Tony. Love’d the Room bit you put slice in. I think they accurately capture the feelings of viewers.

  14. will.H says:

    Marcus Hayes is the biggest fucking goof in the Philly Media.

    Some school gave this guy a degree.. fair enough. Now, some news paper lets him share his opinion about sports and they pay him for it. Haha

  15. will.H says:

    Dd anyone see Motte flinch after Howard turned towards him tonight? Someone gif it

  16. CarlosBeltransexual says:

    I didn’t know FanSince09 had bitch tits and a job at the Inqy.

  17. Wendell Magee Jr. says:

    I usually make sexually charged comments, encouraging much ramming and jamming of things into various orifices, but I’ll keep it simple:

    Great job, Tony. Poor Barkaan.

  18. Lynniemac says:

    I’m not sure what’s worse: that Mandy has a degree, or that she has a job. Why be a beat writer when you clearly hate ballplayers (not named Raul)?

  19. Mike P says:

    I love TiD’s mock-up of the DNL segment, but does someone have a video of the full discussion? I’m amazed by their stupidity and somewhat intrigued by the possibility that there was even more to see.

  20. @Mike P, you can catch it on Comcast onDemand! if you have Comcast. That being said, If I were you I’d pass. It only gets even more mind-numbing after that. It must be written somewhere in Mike Kern’s contract with DNL, that whenever he’s on they have to discuss Golf, and “Taigrr” for at least a half an hour.

  21. Smalls says:

    I tried to think of a witty comment, but that Hamels comment was so fucking stupid I think it melted my brain and I cant function anymore. Thank You DNL.

  22. Andrew says:

    the talk about cole being left off the playoff roster is clearly nonsense. however, valdez is def a better fielder than utley and has a much better arm. utley throws like a 10 year old

  23. HummerX says:

    Daily News Live makes me wanna drink everytime I watch it

  24. Ryan says:

    @Andrew. I’ll agree to the arm, but the range and fielding isn’t close. At all.

  25. Andrew says:

    @ryan. disagree. see san fran series 2010.

  26. John says:

    That was so dumb I am now paralyzed from the waist down…

  27. John says:

    Fucking imbeciles.

  28. John says:

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  29. You’ll be put in your place from June 28 through June 30th.

    I’ll be at all 3 games in a Chara jersey and a Red Sox cap. Come and say Hi!

  30. TonyIsDynamic says:

    “Thanks for ruining The Room for me…”

    *THIS* ruined The Room for you?

  31. TonyIsDynamic says:

    Andrew says:
    June 22, 2011 at 1:35 am
    “@ryan. disagree. see san fran series 2010.”

    Ok Tom Byrne.

  32. ill tee shirt says:

    @29- I’m putting a ton of cash $$$ on the redsox if Wakefield is pitching against the phils next week. They can’t hit his slop

  33. olo567 says:

    Chase Utley’s UZR/150 is 5th in the majors at 25.1 (smaller sample, but who gives a crap).
    Wilson Valdez is at -11.2. He’s got a cannon, sure, but he’s not good.

    What a terrible DNL. Great mock video.

  34. maria says:

    “Different question! Different question!” That was mind numbingly stupid. I also can’t believe they have that Aura chick on that show now.

  35. Joe D says:

    Seriously who the fuck is this Mandy woman? I haven’t watched DNL since Jasner died. And I only watched it then because his hair was the shit. Why are people watching DNL?

  36. Muscles says:

    you don’t need an arm at second base, that is why wilson is a better SS to make use of his arm.

  37. Jamie says:

    CSN can suck it

  38. AFN says:

    I think Ben Francisco is a better second baseman than Chase Utley, and a future hall of famer. I also think Kendrick is a better pitcher than Halladay, and Danys Baez should be closing. Lastly, I think they should make Cholly the hitting coach and make the Phanatic the manager.

  39. dude... says:

    Check the stats. The Phanatic hasn’t made a play to his right all year. ALL FUCKING YEAR!!!

  40. agam22 says:

    I don’t live in the area so thankfully I can’t watch this shit, but does anyone know what fucking argument he used to justify not having Hamels the playoff rotation?

  41. Jonny5 says:

    It’s funny how these nit wits think they can manage a club better than Charlie merely by mentioning ideas after the fact. Ohhhh, you are so much smarter people, Ya know because getting Chase back into the swing of things in the position the Phillies need him in most (2nd base) is secondary to winning against a non division rival. I want to punch!

  42. Defenestrate Wheels says:

    Kill kill kill the white man, on Mommalickaboobooday…

  43. Colleen Wolfe's Newly Bleached Asshole says:

    Anyone see me on the post game show last night? The asshole is so white that my producer was telling me there was a glare coming from my skirt.

    My farts smell like lavender!

  44. stinkbug says:

    beautiful job, tony.

  45. Marcus Hayes says:

    In my best Mike Donnelly voice,

    “KILL WHITEY!!!!”

  46. wtt says:

    Who’s the chick, and what does she do?

  47. Gene Schall says:

    46,

    I’ll tell you what she doesn’t do: wash the dishes and make me sandwiches.

    And that’s a bigger fucking problem than her asinine thoughts.

  48. Jean Luc Picard says:

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  49. Heavy B says:

    I think I just got cancer from watching this

  50. Paddy Clark says:

    Marcus Hayes predicted a reds sweep of the phils in last years NLDS sooo yeahhhh

  51. Derrick says:

    I’d like to see Hayes get on the field and play. Fat loser.

  52. Marcus Hayes' bedside notebook says:

    Starting rotation should be David Herndon, Danys Baez (he threw six straight innings of one-hit ball in a single game, these are facts people), JC Romero and Wilson Valdez. Phillies will use a four-man rotation all year long. Mike Zagurski will be the long man if a starter can’t go all nine.

    Option Halladay and Lee to AA (they are washed up, the facts prove it) and put Hamels and Oswalt in the bullpen.

    Trade Rollins and Utley for whatever you can get, maybe some project players. It’s not going to be much realistically. Move Ibanez to short and second, he’ll play both positions at the same time, and have a four-man outfield. Phillies will choke those lanes up.

    Make Howard wear a pink Miami Vice sports jacket with the sleaves rolled up as part of his uniform. That look is coming back and it’s coming back in a big way. Have Polly have his skull shaved down to a normal human size or trade him to that Green Lantern planet for prospects.

  53. drs. faggot says:

    marcus hayes is stupid because is kind of black.

    fact.

  54. Tiffany says:

    Are they retarded? Seriously? That was more pathetic than the Cardinals BP last night.

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