The Phillies have this nasty habit of painting themselves into a corner, don’t they? It happened again last night when the bullpen coughed up four runs in the eighth inning to lose their second of three games to the Washington Nationals. Coupled with a surprising sweep of the Brewers — in Milwaukee — by the Mets, the Phightins now find themselves looking up three games at New York with 22 left to play.

It’s been a weird four weeks, to say the least. First, we witnessed a grand debacle of a West Coast road trip, during which the reigning MVP trashed his fans and the struggling Dodgers swept the visiting team. Then, a resurgence of a home stand, with the Phillies exacting revenge on L.A. and rallying in dramatic fashion to overcome a 7-0 deficit to Pedro Martinez and the Mets.

After that, they traveled to one of the toughest home fields in baseball this season, and took two wins out of four from the Cubs. (As mentioned before, an Aramis Ramirez grand slam was all that prevented the Phillies from winning that series outright.) But then, as if to provide some sort of karmic balance to their recent success, the Phils were outscored, 16-15, by one of the worst offensive lineups in the major leagues.

What do you make of all this, if you’re a Phillies fan? I happen to be one, as you might have guessed, as the answer is: I have no damned idea. What I do know is this: The Phillies go to Shea Stadium this weekend, and they’d better win two of three. At least.

Right now it looks as if Hamels and Santana will square off on Sunday. Martinez, according to some reports, is not going to take the mound on Saturday. That may or may not be a good thing for the Phillies. Hamels was not originally scheduled to pitch Sunday, but everyone involved in the decision to move his start forward knows that he’s the best chance this team has to close the gap with New York. Maybe Hamels himself is not crazy about the idea, but desperate times, etc.

Tomorrow night’s game will feature the resurgent Brett Myers (2-0, 1.28 ERA in his last two starts) against Mike Pelfrey. On Saturday it’s Moyer versus Martinez somebody (Hurricane Hannah permitting, of course), and then Hamels facing Santana on Sunday night. As you may have heard, the Eagles are playing sometime during this schedule as well.

The numbers tell us that the Phillies have their work cut out for them: If the Mets finish 11-11 (which doesn’t seem likely), the Phillies would have to go 14-8 to catch them, 15-7 to pass them. Difficult, but not impossible, especially in light of what happened last year. Then again, this isn’t last year.

In conclusion, to cheer up commenter Gonzo, I leave you with this:

Q: “Why did the penis move away?”
A: “It was tired of living next to a couple of nuts and an asshole.”

(THERE’S your damned dick joke, Gonzo!)

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