The Fightins » The Road to Mayan Apocalypse Is Paved with Text Messages

HOME	R.I.P. Harry Kalas

Oct

2009

The Road to Mayan Apocalypse Is Paved with Text Messages

Posted by Chamomiles Davis at 10:12 pm ET 45 Comments

So, did Darren Daulton really pick Raul Ibanez (0-3) as his “Player of the Game” Monday night? Was he paying attention to the game? Did he know where he was? Thanks to an unscrupulous Comcast intern with access to Ricky Bottalico’s cell phone, we may have an idea of what was preoccupying the eccentric former Phillies backstop…

dd_rb_conv_p1

dd_rb_conv_p2

dd_rb_conv_p3

45 Comments on “The Road to Mayan Apocalypse Is Paved with Text Messages”

John Says:
October 13th, 2009 at 10:32 pm
foist of all, i dont get and it and second of all, what?
John Says:
October 13th, 2009 at 10:32 pm
i dont get it*
CarlosBeltransexual Says:
October 13th, 2009 at 10:43 pm
At least Dutch is comical. Botallico is a self-indulgent putz who adds little to any conversation. My favorite Brett Myers quote (ok, second favorite to “How do you spell retard?”) was when Ironpig Myers was in Lehigh, and was asked if he wanted to be traded.

Myers: “Who told you that? Ricky Botallico? Yeah, ok.”
Rob Says:
October 13th, 2009 at 10:49 pm
This is kinda off topic but during the post game news on comcast there was a woman reporter at coors field talkg about the celebration and I can’t recall her name for the life of me. But when asked “You didn’t get doused with champagne why not?” she said “Yeah thats right the players noticed that I was dry and I told them thats just the way I like it” and I could not stop laughing. Does anyone know where I can find a video of this?
Tartan69 Says:
October 13th, 2009 at 11:06 pm
This back-and-forth would be even better on The Dugout. The ones between Cholly and Bobby Cox are always entertaining.
CarlosBeltransexual Says:
October 13th, 2009 at 11:09 pm
If it helps, Rob, that was Leslie Gudel.
Lynniemac Says:
October 13th, 2009 at 11:24 pm
If she wanted to stay dry, perhaps she shouldn’t hang out in the clubhouse. Feel free to take that as you will, people.
Gonzo Says:
October 14th, 2009 at 12:13 am
Leslie Gudel was asking such serious questions and Ryan Howard just wanted to party. Leslie is quite the party pooper. I don’t care if it’s her job to ask those questions. She should just jam out with her clam out.
RicoBrogna Says:
October 14th, 2009 at 12:34 am
anybody notice jayson stark trying to weasel in on gudel’s interview with howard and when he finally get to ask a question its a generic dud like “how do concentrate with all that noise” type of throwaway nonsense. Howard should have ignored it and refused to answer on the grounds of retardation!
WildThng88 Says:
October 14th, 2009 at 1:30 am
Chamomiles Davis sucks. I’ll say it a million times. Fire him.
Gonzo Says:
October 14th, 2009 at 3:19 am
Rico, post game interviews are like that. Most times, reporters will let someone else ask the questions and just record the entire conversation.
Griswold Says:
October 14th, 2009 at 3:46 am
Doug Glanville will cause 2012
Tug Haines Says:
October 14th, 2009 at 5:39 am
WildThng88 sucks. I’ll say it a million times. Fire him.
Mike Says:
October 14th, 2009 at 5:43 am
word Tug. fuck you WildThng88. don’t like it? don’t read it, then don’t comment on it.
dlhunter Says:
October 14th, 2009 at 5:44 am
Hilarious. There I said it.

Now stick a cork screw up your ass, WIldThing88.
me Says:
October 14th, 2009 at 6:21 am
manual is a fucking retard-we win in spite of him………
ill Says:
October 14th, 2009 at 7:11 am
It’s no Dugout, but that’ll do pig.
StacyH Says:
October 14th, 2009 at 8:30 am
By the way, I believe what Chamo is referring to is the “Stand-out Stars”, which are picked before the game on the pre-game show, not after the game. It’s like a competition between Barkann, Ricky Bo, etc. to see who can predict which Phillie is going to have the best game. Either way Dutch has definitely gone off the deep end.
Dutch Daulton's Brain Says:
October 14th, 2009 at 9:16 am
Dutch looks drunk on the post game show and has a nice comb-over going
Andrew Says:
October 14th, 2009 at 9:19 am
Dutch’s justification for picking Ibanez was the worst part-It was something like “Ibanez was out of the game so Francisco could make that catch,” which, i mean, is too crazy to parse. “Ya know who my Phillies MVP is? Eric Bruntlett-if he wasnt on the bench Chase Utley couldnt do his thing.”
Jayson Vooyrhees Says:
October 14th, 2009 at 9:27 am
I…I think I’ve done it.

I’ve found someone more batshit that Dutch.

http://www.examiner.com/x-22944-Philadelphia-Christian-Perspectives-Examiner~y2009m10d10-Its-acceptable-to-be-a-Phillies-Phanatic-but-a-fanatic-about-Jesus–Not-so-much

apologies if this has been passed around already. Then again, the crazy has clouded my brain.
Andrew Says:
October 14th, 2009 at 9:32 am
addendum:
I think its safe to say 93 Phillies are awful at their post-baseball professions:
Dykstra:Broke
Daulton: subpar analyst (above par time-traveler)
Kruk: self explanatory
Hollins: Fucked up my breakfast order this morning

The only real expection is Schilling who has gone on to excel at being an insufferable douche
Heese Says:
October 14th, 2009 at 9:50 am
StacyH is right, pregame they pick who they think will have the best game and Dutch was feeling Raul (pause). I thought it was actually pretty funny Dutch was trying to defend it afterwards while also being smashed, especially after Game 3.
ill Says:
October 14th, 2009 at 10:10 am
@Andrew
I love Kruk on BBTN and Mitchie Poo is doing alright for himself over on the MLB Network. I don’t know you can say Daulton is a failure but call him an “above par time-traveler.” The fact he can do it at all makes him pretty successful, IMO.
Ace Says:
October 14th, 2009 at 10:25 am
@Andrew

Hollins just rejoined the Phils as special assignment scout. I’d say that’s better than nothing.
Chazbot Says:
October 14th, 2009 at 10:32 am
Fire WildThng88, his mouse must be broken but the keyboard still works fine. Troll.
Phylan Says:
October 14th, 2009 at 11:13 am
@Jayson that is the best thing I’ve ever read and the author’s picture is pretty much perfectly fitting
Jdashdog Says:
October 14th, 2009 at 11:28 am
“Even if the Rockies were our enemies, we are to love them.”

@Jayson, thanks – that article is hilarious
GenericFanGroup Says:
October 14th, 2009 at 11:38 am
I think Dutch took a beating because being a “time-traveler” he should have known who was gonna have a good game.

Fire Wildthng88, on a site that allows for long names not using the I in thing is just bad spelling.
Heathcliff Slocumb Says:
October 14th, 2009 at 11:39 am
Mickey Morandini is doing well, coaching high school baseball and running a stationary store with his wife. He looks like a crackhead, but that’s OK.
James Fayleez Says:
October 14th, 2009 at 11:57 am
DUTCH’S COMB DOWN REPAVED MY DRIVEWAY LAST NIGHT.

That thing is epic.
Ozzie Virgil's Beard Says:
October 14th, 2009 at 12:10 pm
@Jayson: Lisa Small is nuttier than squirrel shit.
J-D Says:
October 14th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
Who is more bat shit crazy? Dutch or Lisa, the author of that ridiculous article?
Alex Says:
October 14th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
@Jayson: That article provided at least an hour of entertainment for me and my friends. Everyone should take a minute and leave a fun comment. My submissions were:

Sarge says:
Someone should Cadillac time all over you and your husband.

Harry Kalas says:
This lady is OUTTA HERE!!

Darren “Dutch” Daulton says:
If you were my wife I would slap you around, go back in time, and then do it again.
Gaze Says:
October 14th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
All things considered, I’d say the 1993 team is doing pretty well for themselves…
James Fayleez Says:
October 14th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
Jayson,

Good work finding the article. I left her a post as her “true” master.
dapopeovoz Says:
October 14th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
@Jayson: Greatest comment on her article. “Why don’t you like fun?”
AK Says:
October 14th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
I’m particularly fond of “Sorry about killing Jesus, I hope we can still be friends.”

This article deserves its own post on here
maxL Says:
October 14th, 2009 at 4:57 pm
Bill says:

But, Phillies fans go to the park every game to see God. He is otherwise known as Ryan Howard.

Def. my favorite.
D. Whitmore Says:
October 14th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
if she only knew about the 07 rockies and their own bible thumping. it would have made the game a lot better in her eyes.

crazy bitch
Lisa Small Says:
October 14th, 2009 at 5:41 pm
I pray for you evil Phillies fans. May God have mercy on your souls for supporting a competition of any kind. What’s really wrong with baseball is that one team has to lose. Can’t they just not keep score and declare both teams winners and everyone can pray together afterwards? How do you think the Rockies and their fans felt after they GOT THEIR ASSES WHOOPED BY THE WFC!!!
Tug Haines Says:
October 14th, 2009 at 6:34 pm
The Phillies and Dodgers should just play Popcorn this week instead of baseball.

That way, everybody wins!
Sara Says:
October 14th, 2009 at 7:14 pm
@Chamo i love you.
@Tug i love that game more than i love chamo.
Gabrielle Says:
October 14th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
i like that, on lisa’s blog, Satan signed his message “Lou”.

@chamo: think you could get ahold of the convo between wildthng88 and meech? that could be interesting…
James Fayleez Says:
October 15th, 2009 at 10:34 am
Gabrielle,

Thanks for the shout out. I did the Satan message.