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Dec
13
2008
The Mets And Their Empty Threats: An Annual Review
Posted by Chamomiles Davis at 6:06 pm ET 8 Comments

2005: “It’s all over now, SUCKERS! Look who we just signed!”

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(83-79; 3rd place in NL East)


2006: “World Championship, here we come!”

wagner.jpg

(97-65; lost NLCS in seven games to the 83-win St. Louis Cardinals)


2007: “We don’t need new blood this year. We can beat you with what we’ve got!”

(88-74; lost the division in final game)


2008: “Hey, Phillies: it’s PAYBACK TIME, bitches!”

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(89-73; blew 3.5 game lead with 17 remaining)


2009: “And this year, we MEAN it!”

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(Way in which New York eventually fucks it up TBD.)

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8 Comments on “The Mets And Their Empty Threats: An Annual Review”

  1. Zach Says:

    Nice summary. They are pathetic.

  2. ray Says:

    pathetic franchise

  3. GM-Carson Says:

    Nice recap, I’ll give it a plug in my comments section today. I did a recap too- http://pabaseball.blogspot.com/2008/12/prediction-outcome-phils-vs-mets.html

  4. Argive Says:

    I can’t wait to see K-Rod get humiliated just like Wagner.

  5. Dutch Says:

    Calling the Mets “choke artists” is really very insensitive. After all, as a team, they suffer from a rare collective affliction known as “Hypersensitive Gag Reflex En Masse.” Though more crudely referred to as “choking,” HGR does more than cost these Mets an annual shot at the play-offs; it makes the little things in life like eating, dental procedures and fellatio quite difficult.

    So before you make light of these Mama Cass devotees, imagine that every year right around the middle of September you suddenly start gagging like a little girl for three weeks. Now imagine watching youself do it, along with the whole country, on ESPN. Unsettling, no? Now picture poor David Wright, who must adhere to the following checklist every September:

    -Start liquid diet
    -Cancel dentist appt
    -break up with boyfriend

    And as I’m sure you can imagine, it’s not easy swilling Ensure with a tootache, while not being able to orally please your man…Well, maybe we can’t imagine, but Wright, Reyes, Beltran, Delgado and gang sure can.

    Please be more sensitive in the future, Cole.

  6. Chamomiles Davis Says:

    Dutch, your comment was well-reasoned, compassionate and insightful. Get the fuck out.

  7. Dutch Says:

    Hey Chamo, I would, but I have nowhere else to go. I’m blog-less. It’s the holidays, have a heart.

  8. Chamomiles Davis Says:

    Alright, you can have the guest room. But no ordering porn on pay-per-view, OK?

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