When you happen to be a member of the World Fucking Champions™, the earth is your oyster. Shane Victorino, the King Kamehameha of both speed and outfield badassery, took his WFC act on the road to Japan. I love the Japanese because they take every little thing in life, no matter how trivial, very seriously. (And, as if I really needed to mention this, they are quite fucking bizarre.)

A Japanese game show called — what else? — Sportsman Number One gathers famous athletes in various sports from around the world to compete in events involving obstacle courses whose designs can only be described as the result of a drill instructor’s wet dream. One such event is called “The Monster Box.” Don’t believe me? Here it is.

OK, so no actual monsters are used. It’s just a big god-damned box.

According to the standings posted here, the Flyin’ Hawaiian finished fourth overall, two spots behind American Olympic gold medalist Bryan Clay (whose own web site refers to him as the “World’s Greatest Athlete“… although I guess when you win gold in the decathlon you’ve earned that right).

Joe Blanton was also seen accompanying Victorino to Japan, where he crushed several buildings and ate a passenger train.

“RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!”

[From Lost In Ube, via Deadspin.]

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