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Jul
22
2008
Burrell After Dark: “Pattus Interrruptus”
Posted by Chamomiles Davis at 9:35 am ET 4 Comments

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Hi. Pat “the Bat” here.

There is nothing worse than getting pulled out early. You know you still have so much left to give and now it’s all blocked up. When you’re pulled out early you might feel tense and irritable. I know I do. When that happens, there’s nothing you can do but head straight to the showers and force your mind to think about something else besides the game.

You see, I’m used to leaving the ballpark exhausted but satisfied, knowing that I’ve left everything I had inside me all over the field. Sometimes a little of it even gets on the fans, especially if I’ve just sprayed a frozen rope straight up into their seats.

You should see the look of ecstasy on their faces. They’re so grateful for my deposit. And who can blame them? You like being the recipient of a Pat the Bat blast over your heads, don’t you? Yeah, that’s right.

But getting yanked before I’ve finished the job does not make this old Hurricane happy! I like going deep into extra innings. I mean real deep. It shows I’ve got stamina. I’m not just some “wham-bam, nine innings ma’am” kind of jock.

Don’t tell this to the skipper, but sometimes I’ll deliberately bobble an easy pop fly, or dog it while chasing a ball into the corner, just so I can have one more chance at the plate to send a long one your way.

It’s all for you, baby. Let’s keep that our little secret, OK?

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4 Comments on “Burrell After Dark: “Pattus Interrruptus””

  1. jd Says:

    not exactly “Sex Cannon”, but pretty good.

    http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2006/11/f-k-it-im-throwing-it-downfield.html

  2. Chamomiles Davis Says:

    I’d be lying if I said that didn’t influence me more than somewhat. KSK is the tits.

  3. Clare Says:

    Red Cleat Diaries.

  4. DCG Says:

    That was the first blog post i’ve ever read that made me laugh out loud. It’s funny because it’s true.

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