If these two league championship series run their respective natural courses, it will mean that for the third time in five years a team from Tampa Bay (sorry, Andy!) will face a team from Philly en route to a sports title. If you recall the last two times this happened (NFC Championship, 2003; NHL Eastern Conference Championship, 2004), then you might remember it didn’t end well for us.
Should the Rays make the Series and defeat the (for the purposes of avoiding a jinx I’ll just write, “your 2008 National League Champions”), Tampa Bay’s (sorry, Andy!) third and newest sports franchise will have won its third different sports title since 2003, thus completing the Expansion Trifecta. Meanwhile, our fair city — the one with four teams — would remain title-free since ‘83. (God damn it, that rhymes. Run with it, haters!)
A city that didn’t even have a baseball or hockey team in ‘83, or a football team until 1976, is on the verge of perpetuating our misery. A just and loving God would never let this happen. Of course, He did let the Marlins win it all twice and the Diamondbacks once, so the old bastard does have a sense of humor, doesn’t He?
Needless to say, should Tampa Bay (sorry, Andy!) once again sidestep Philly on its way to immortality, I will finally snap and embark upon a killing spree in three states, which I have chosen at random. Hey, Montana, Wisconsin and Texas? Consider yourselves on notice.
22 Comments on “A Chilling Thought For Any Philly Sports Fan”
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General
October 15th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
You might want to pick other states, ones where every single person isn’t armed to the teeth.
Like, say, Hawaii, Rhode Island, and Connecticut.
October 15th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
Good point. Smaller states mean more people grouped closer together, which makes for easier kills. So, who’s driving — you or me?
October 15th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
HOLEEE SHIT – HE’S SERIOUS!
October 15th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
Well, they say that the third time is the charm…
October 15th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
Mike P, I like the confidence! I agree, I don’t think the Rays are that much better of a team.
October 15th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
Why 3 States? Just wipe out NJ.
October 15th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
Be sure to pick up my new album, “Feelin’ Kinda Stabby.”
October 15th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
I’ll go on a rampant pooping spree if this happens, pooping on people’s beds while they sleep. Don’t make me do this Tampa. It will not end pretty.
October 15th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Funny, I’m a Rays fan bored at work and thought I’d check out a couple Philly sights to see if anyone noticed the coincidence of Philly and Tampa Bay possibly meeting once again in the post-season. Thanks for obliging. And by the way, not that I want to make any Philly fans feel better…but the two seasons before the Bucs won the Super Bowl, they lost playoff games to the Eagles. I mean, it hasn’t ALL gone our way. Good luck against Manny and Dodgers. And by the way, it’s Tampa BAY.
October 15th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
Andy,
My bad. In my stupidity I thought when the team got rid of the “Devil” in their name they dumped the “Bay” part, too. Why? Who knows. I’m drunk a lot.
Anyway, welcome to the site and good luck to the Rays… SO FAR…
October 15th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
No problem…and I just read your Dykstra – Victorino phone call blog and I’m gonna get fired laughing out loud at work like that. “Doolittle over Tokyo!” Awesome!
October 15th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
You may notice I’ve done some correctin’ up top. Never let it be said that I don’t listen to commenters!
October 15th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
According to Eskin, there is no such city as Tampa Bay. It’s just Tampa. Your sics were unwarranted.
October 15th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
Dang it. I are confused.
October 15th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
@Gonzo
Also:
Freddie Mitchell wasn’t thrown the ball enough.
Marlene Stumpf’s real name is Brandice.
Fur coats look cool on a 60 year old troll.
And it’s still cool to say “bling”.
I also remember during the bad times with the Phillies, Eskin suggested we adopt a new team. He eventually concluded we should watch the Mets (due to the proximity).
October 15th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
When talking about the city, it’s Tampa (I masterbate in Tampa). When referring to the team, you may call it Tampa Bay (Those players on Tampa Bay are real jerk offs).
/Grammar police.
October 15th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
@HDYSR:
The Eskin abides.
October 15th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
Dude, I live in Austin, and I can tell you, you don’t wanna go down there. I love Texas, but the people there are just a little crazy.
October 15th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
Just to add another wrinkle to the plot. If the Rays and Phils make the world series, it might be troubling to think that all the time the Phils have lost in the world series it has been at the hands of an AL East opponent. The Yanks, Bosox, Oreos, and the Blue Jays have all defeated us. the only AL East team not to beat us is the Rays. I am afraid that the Rays might fullfil the AL East prophecy.
Sorry to bring this news to the masses.
Go Phillies!!!
October 15th, 2008 at 8:14 pm
I just want to say that after the Flyers lost in the Eastern Conference Finals to Tampa Bay, I said the next time the Phils make the World Series, it would be against Tampa Bay. Everyone laughed at me then…I’m not laughing now.
October 15th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
Wow, come on guys. You’re all starting to sound like Cubs fans….
October 16th, 2008 at 10:36 am
Not to beat a dead horse…but Tampa Bay is the name for the multi-county area on the middle west coast of Florida that supporst the Bucs, Lightning and Rays. The Buccaneers and Lightning play in Tampa. The Rays play in St. Petersburg. Therefore, when referring to the Rays, if you want to say exactly where they are, it would be St. Pete. If you are referring to the team name, it would be Tampa Bay. They are no more the Tampa Rays, then the Foxboro Patriots, the Minneapolis Twins or the Somewhere-in-New Jersey Jets and Giants