The Fightins'
Adam Bomb — Eaton’s 24.5 million dollar delusion
Posted by at 10:39 am ET 10 Comments

This just in from the Adam Eaton watch: did you know? He helped the Phillies get to the playoffs!

“What went wrong?” Eaton asked. “A lot of things went wrong, but a lot of things that went right, too. I helped them get to the playoffs two years in a row, and obviously we won the World Series last year. That’s a big thrill of mine, but obviously I still want to compete in that World Series atmosphere. That’s what I aim to do.”

What the fuck World Series atmosphere is that? The one where you played 0 postseason innings because you weren’t on the active roster, after sucking in the minor leagues so bad that you bought your teammates a steak dinner to show off your $8M salary? Or the one where you weren’t even INVITED to the parade down Broad Street? And we remember how well you helped us in 2007 too, fuckface, when you were the only player on the entire team we booed at the rally at City Hall. (Well, the only one we booed worse than Rod Barajas.)

Let’s see just how well Eaton helped get us into the playoffs during the 2008 run, using team pitching stats from Baseball-Reference

The Phillies had the 4th best ERA in the National League at 3.89 with Eaton. Check out the before and after stats:

2008 WFC Phillies with Eaton:
IP: 1,449 2/3
ER: 627
ERA: 3.89, fourth best in NL, behind the Dodgers, Brewers and Cubs

2008 WFC Phillies without Eaton:
IP: 1,342 2/3
ER: 558
ERA: 3.74, second only behind the Dodgers’ 3.68

That may seem like more math than it’s worth, but this is Adam Eaton we’re talking about here, the guy we’re going to pay $8.5M to go suck for Baltimore, and the guy whose last effort as a Phillie was to sneak into that portrait of Ryan Howard … right before Big Brown elbowed him in the goatee and said get the fuck out of my photo shoot and off my team.

beelove (a/k/a R. Bradley Maule) is the proprietor of the fantastic Philadelphia photography/architecture site, He had something he had to get off his chest concerning Adam Eaton; I gladly gave him the space to do so.

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10 Responses to “Adam Bomb — Eaton’s 24.5 million dollar delusion”

  1. beelove says:

    oh snap, carson, your garbage pail kid must have seeped into my subconscious for that headline.

    by the way, i forgot to make the point that it’s not really eaton’s fault for saying “yes” to being offered $24.5M over three years, but that he did certainly gives us the OK to say he sucks. and he does.

  2. GM-Carson says:

    No subconscious needed to know he sucks, you were just helping to point out the obvious. Eaton bashing is always welcome in my opinion.

  3. GM-Carson says:

    By the way- Eaton got the loss in his O’s spring debut. 3 ip, 4 h, 2 r.

  4. Gigi says:

    to the editors: was there a post about Jimmy Rollins’ “Dick’s Sporting Goods” commercial recently that I missed? I think that thing is absolutely hilarious and if I am late to the party on this one then I apologize, but I don’t have cable and just saw it at a bar….oscar goes to our shortstop.

  5. Hummer says:

    that J-Roll commercial always makes me very, very uncomfortable, for some reason

  6. terrell says:

    whatever. “statistics”. adam eaton has 24 and a half reasons to celebrate his world series ring. numbers aside he is a great champion.

  7. Hummer says:

    yeah, never mind that the Phanatic could pitch better than him. forget those silly ‘facts’

  8. Watch the language, Senor beelove.

  9. Big Phils Phan in Beijing says:

    I haven’t seen his name even mentioned in a number of recent articles about the likely (terrible) Orioles rotation. Looks like he sucks even if you’re only paying him peanuts. Much worse signing than Freddy – at least Garcia seemed like he cared. I was also pissed to see Eaton in that picture with Ryan Howard and wonder what the rest of the team thought of him. Not a whole lot of grief expressed about his leaving…

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