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May
06
2011
Posted by Tug Haines at 5:38 pm ET 4 Comments

Current Clearwater Threshers (and future Phillies) Jiwan James and Jonathan Singleton will be doing a Ustream tonight. If you spend your Friday nights on the internet (and let’s face it, you do) and want to ask some serious questions of a couple of top prospects in the Phillies’ organization, then head on over to The RELL King James Jiwan James’s Ustream channel (YoungPhillie) “tonight around 11:15 or so after our game 2night!!!” to find out stuff like:

  • Which Thresher is the best at ladder golf
  • How many VORPs they have so far this year
  • How do they like their eggs
  • What’s Phinley like when he’s drunk
  • Put shoe on head

So go over the Ustream when you’re hammered and see what you can find out.

H/T to Christina at Philliedelphia for making me aware of this.

Jiwan James’s Ustream channel

Jiwan James on Twitter

Jon Singleton on Twitter

Apr
26
2011
Posted by Tug Haines at 9:04 am ET 24 Comments

Sup y’all. I know I haven’t posted since August 2010, but that’s not entirely my fault, now is it?

I’ve been a little bit out of the loop on Phillies news lately. Right now, I’m in Myrtle Beach, SC, just another stop in my minor league road trip throughout the eastern United States. So when the Phillies game is on the radio, I’m typically at a ballgame in some remote corner of the country. I suppose I could just snipe the beat writers’ stuff off Twitter and rush to post them here, but I have integrity, believe it or not.

For instance, last night, I watched some High-A ball at BB&T Coastal Park. The Myrtle Beach Pelicans (TEX) hosted the Potomac Nationals (WAS) in a game just two minutes longer than that abortion in Arizona, which is pretty incredible in any level of ball, let alone Class-A Advanced, where the pitching is wild and the defense is a, um, work in progress.

Starting at second base for the Potomac Nationals was none other that Cutter Dykstra, 54th pick of the 2008 draft and the spitting image of his father. Hell of an athlete too. I never saw a little white guy jump so high.

As I stumble across little tidbits that the loyal readers of The Fightins might be interested in, I’ll be sure to put them up here. In the meantime, I’ll be driving through Georgia on my way to Mississippi by way of Tennessee, and blogging about everything else I see in the world of minor league baseball.

The Casual Fan Project at CasualFan.org

      
Aug
29
2010
Posted by Tug Haines at 3:22 pm ET 70 Comments

From Todd Zolecki:

Jimmy Rollins, on slapping home plate with his left hand as he slid past Yorvit Torrealba to score the winning run in the 12th inning in a 3-2 victory over the Padres at Petco Park: “It was quick. It was my Karate Kid fly catcher.”

Said Charlie of the slide: “Youuuuu beginna luck.”

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Aug
17
2010
Posted by Tug Haines at 10:22 pm ET 26 Comments

Have you ever heard of Hi5? Me neither – until this afternoon, when Professor Jay Ballz of PhoulBallz.com sent me a link to the Hi5 profile kept by Leandro Castro, outfielder for the Phillies’ Class “A” team, the Lakewood BlueClaws. It’s gold (literally, at times). Here’s a small sample of my favorites:

Steamy. Dreamy.

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Jul
12
2010
Posted by Tug Haines at 9:03 pm ET 30 Comments

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For the record, I completely agree. No questions asked.

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Jul
04
2010
Posted by Tug Haines at 11:35 am ET 14 Comments

Excuse me while I breathe on my fingernails, then rub them on my shirt. Is there even a name for that move? Let’s move on.

First of all, to all the haters who said I was crazy for thinking Cody Ransom could be as good a hitter as Ted Williams: He’s batting .400, suckers! Read it and weep!

I started drinking at 11 AM O’Clock in the morning and didn’t stop until my head hit the Steelers pillow on my friend’s couch early this morning. I dreamt that I was hanging out with Jimmy Rollins in West Virginia when Uzbekistan started carpet-bombing the shit out of us. Then I woke up and drank some coffee and now here I am.

P.S. The Phillies kicked the shit out of the Pirates last night. It was pretty sweet, BUT! BUT! BUT! that’s what they’re ‘POSED to do. So I enjoyed it at the time, but let’s just say I’m not convinced, okay? Like the usher said to me last night, “You are fickle people.” And like I responded, “That’s right.” Mostly because if you’re old enough to have an AARP card, I shouldn’t have to explain that a 2-run lead in the first inning of a ballgame, while promising, is no real reason to be exuberant.

Kyle Rodney Kendrick (W, 5-3) is like a 1995 Ford Taurus: he won’t always get you where you need to go, but it’s always a pleasant surprise when he does, and you can’t afford something that’s not a piece of shit anyway.

Cody Ransom is better than Greg Dobbs.

The Rest of the Guys hit everything several times.

Paul Maholm (L, 5-7) took a page from the book of Homer Simpson: don’t just be a failure, be a spectacular failure. That’s paraphrased, by the way.

Andrew McCutchen is still my favorite current Pirate.

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Jul
03
2010
Posted by Tug Haines at 1:18 am ET 77 Comments

It was a perfect night for a ballgame, but the Phillies decided to waste another strong outing in a should-win situation, falling to five games behind the Atlanta Braves, who continue to play like we wish our team would. Now I’m sitting here, trying to keep two things: my eyes open and a promise to Dash that I would write the recaps for tonight and tomorrow night.

What the fuck can I say? Pierogies ran around a warning track and Greg Dobbs underperformed and Jayson Werth continued to dog it, I mean, continued to play his whole career for this year. You know something, Puffy? Fuck your career. You went 0-4 with 3 strikeouts, and I’m grouchy right now, because my team lost and you did jack shit and I’m sure the commenters will continue to simultaneously lambast me for calling you out while metaphorically sucking your proverbial dick. You’re on notice. Fuck you and Reggie and your fucking contract. I’m laying off the bench guys like Dobbs for the moment because who gives a fuck about the bench guys right now? We’re sliding further south in the standings and the only guy showing up to play is Wilson motherfucking Valdez, day after day. Guess what? He’s not an everyday player and that’s going to show pretty soon and you know who’s going to need to perform? YOU, Jayson Werth, that’s who. If you can’t hit fucking Ross fucking Ohlendorf then what the fuck do we need you for?

0-5 RISP. Not only is that an 0fer, but why did the Phillies only have RISP 5 times? Fuck’s sake. You guys realize people pay money for this shit? And stop wasting quality pitching. Oughta be ashamed of yourselves.

Everyone except Wilson Valdez went 3 for 27 with 8 K’s. Fuck you guys.

Jamie Moyer (L, 9-7) gave up 2 runs, 1 earned, his bad but still.

Ross Ohlendorf (W, 1-6) hit Jimmy Rollins in the head and should suffer the consequences.

Lastings Milledge has a name like a butler and made a pretty awesome catch that saved the shutout and probably the game.

Saxophone Guy on Roberto Clemente Bridge doesn’t understand that he should shut the fuck up and play his shitty saxophone and not tell the 60% Phillies fan crowd (after a loss) to “go back to Philly” if he wants to make enough money for his next bottle of Wild Irish Rose.

Nice place, PNC Park is great even though the concourse is difficult to move through, and Pittsburgh is an awesome town and if you don’t think so, you probably don’t use the word “Party” as a verb and any argument you have is automatically invalid. See you fuckers tomorrow; I’m going to bed.

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What draws my admiration? What is that which gives me joy? Baseball! A man stands alone at the plate. This is the time for what? For individual achievement. There he stands alone. But in the field, what? Part of a team. Teamwork… Looks, throws, catches, hustles. Part of one big team. Bats himself the live-long day, Babe Ruth, Ty Cobb, and so on. If his team don’t field… what is he? You follow me? No one. Sunny day, the stands are full of fans. What does he have to say? I’m goin’ out there for myself. But… I get nowhere unless the team wins.

Job well done, Chooch. You deserve it.

Thanks to @Estebomb for the inspiration.

As I finish this post, the Phillies just took another massive stanley steamer down in Miami.

Written by Tug Haines

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