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The Inquirer’s Matt Gelb brings us some bad news:

Gelb goes on to clarify that “No return date” doesn’t mean he’s never coming back, just that he hasn’t told the team when he’s coming back. He also says that his early exit from the game was not because of these nebulous personal reasons but for his ineffectiveness.

Well, shit. Whatever’s going on, best wishes are extended to Roy and his family.

UPDATE: The Phillies have issued a statement:

“There has been a tremendous amount of tornado activity near Roy’s home in Mississippi resulting in several tragic deaths and significant devastation to the area. Because of this, Roy is concerned about his family’s well-being. He has chosen to take time to make sure there wasn’t significant damage to his home, but more importantly, to make certain that his wife and children are okay.

It is almost a year to the day that his parents’ home was destroyed by a tornado which has heightened his concern about the current situation. We are hopeful that he will rejoin the team for his next start, but will take that day by day.”

Posted by Ryan at 7:30 pm ET 50 Comments

10:05PM on TCN


Colbert Michael Hamels (1-1, 4.32 ERA)

PHILLIES: Cole didn’t factor into the decision in his last start against the Marlins, but he went seven strong innings, allowing seven hits, and striking out the same amount. Cole has 18 Ks on the season, and the Pads have the second-most strikeouts in the league so this looks to be a favorable matchup for him tonight.

Clayton Richard (1-0, 4.50 ERA)

Padres: I know he’s hardly the subject in that last picture, and it was from his old team, but I couldn’t pass up posting that picture. Fuckin’ Ozzie Guillen, man.

Posted by Ryan at 9:52 pm ET 44 Comments

So, yeah. That happened. Halladay gets a loss, going 6.2 innings, surrendering 10 hits and 6 ER. The Phils offense did honestly look like dog shit, notching only two hits (two goddamned hits!) their last coming in the third inning.

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I’m going to award Sully the scoop here. JC Romero is going on the 15-Day DL with a right calf strain. Mike Zagurski (of whom I am a huge fan. No pun intended.) has been recalled. Zags hasn’t allowed a run in 3.1 innings while fanning seven so far this season in Lehigh Valley.

Posted by Ryan at 9:48 pm ET 28 Comments

The Phils picked up their tenth win of the season with a little help from the elements, downing the Florida Fish 3-2. A stiff breeze to right gave Placido Polanco his first homer of the season in the first, and the sun contributed to the fan-favorite and newly retired Logan Morrison dropping a Ryan Howard fly-ball in the eighth. Carlos Ruiz (the baseball playing one) would eventually score Howard on a sac-fly, which would end up being the difference maker in this one.

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Which one of you goons did this? From the Wikipedia page of Marlins LF Logan Morrison:

(Click to embiggen. Thanks, Mark.)

Posted by Ryan at 4:32 pm ET 84 Comments

7:05 PM on CSN

Pitching Matchup:

Roy Oswalt (2-0, 2.25 ERA)

Phillies: Roy looks to become the Phils first three game winner. Roy is awesome. I met him last month at a bar in Clearwater. He shook my hand. He is my very favorite baseball player now. (He’s even shorter than you’d imagine.)

Javier Vasquez

DJ Javier Vazquez (1-1, 8.64 ERA)

Marlins: Look, I don’t know for a fact if that’s Javy Vasquez or not but let’s all pretend that he really is a douchey, metro-DJ because that shit would be hilarious. The Marlins are Javy’s seventh team in his 14-year career. Dude gets passed around like a blunt at a Phish concert.

Posted by Ryan at 6:23 pm ET 54 Comments

Yeah, I don’t know either.

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Posted by Ryan at 10:11 pm ET 78 Comments

Thanks to @MandaBrill for sending me the original picture on the Twitters.

Posted by Ryan at 9:43 pm ET 27 Comments

Not to be outdone by Joe Blanton, Roy Oswalt shows off his best Charlie Manuel impression during a workout session. What can you say? Dude’s a quick study.

Big thanks to reader @MandaBrill for the tip via Twitter. Props also go out to Jay Ballz who beat me to the punch with this picture (and the exact same friggin’ joke) a whopping seventeen hours ago.

Written by Ryan


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R.I.P Harry Kalas