The Fightins » Not Kerouac R.I.P. Harry Kalas Sat, 16 Jul 2011 19:47:54 +0000 en hourly 1 An in-depth look at the autograph atrocity that is Dom Brown Thu, 12 May 2011 17:49:04 +0000 Not Kerouac Absolutely no one who goes to baseball games turns down autographs. Some follow, pester and even stalk and to get a hero’s name on anything. These memories can last forever and shape a childhood. Unless you get your tits signed, that shit is gone in three showers. You know who signed lots of tits? Darren Daulton.

(This chick probably blew Dutch)

It’s a shame he was in his prime when Magic scared the pants back on all the road beef or his numbers would have been Wiltian. What I am trying to say is, signatures mean something. Be it to a kid or geriatric, they represent memories and can say quite a bit about you. This is what brings us to today’s concern, Phillies top prospect Domonic Brown. Our very own Mr. Meech and any of his eleven children would kill for an autograph from their clan’s leader, but what would they be getting? Let’s take a look. (And the point of this post is not to demean Dom Brown — I’m sure Meech wouldn’t let this get published if it were — I’m merely pointing out a flaw that should really be fixed before he reaches ultra-superstar status. A public service if you will.)

Every ball player is asked to sign countless baseballs, but for some odd reason, most of Dom Brown’s autos look completely different. Here are a few examples:

As you can see, Browny hasn’t quite mastered penmanship yet.

(At least he spelled it right, I question the fightin of the Phillies when written like that.)

Maybe Dom just has trouble writing with the contour of the baseball and the unfriendly material?

Let’s check out some other mediums:

(Who the fuck is that!?)

(With the smear for good luck)

(I think that’s hieroglyphics and not Souls of Mischief kind)

Here is one signature for Dom to aspire to, the inscription as well:

(That crazy bastard could sure write his name)

In the end, I believe there is only one person to blame for his horrendous signature…

(Set an example Sarge!)

(Too focused on pimpin’ and not on signin’)

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