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Feb
22
2010
Posted by at 10:17 am ET 58 Comments

Behold, my friends. Jayson Werth is your Jesus.

(pic via Todd Zolecki)

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Feb
11
2010
Posted by at 1:12 pm ET 18 Comments

During the Phils’ Interleague romp in Toronto this June 25-27, there’s another party coming to the 416. The G20 summit is scheduled at a building next to the Rogers Centre June 26-27, which means a shitload of rich, foreign important dudes and world leaders could be surrounded by thousands of drunken Canadians.

For those that don’t know, (including myself), generally the following attend the G20 Summit, made up of about…20? or so countries all around the world, including Canada and the US. From the NYT’s Exonomix blog:

Usually, the attendees of the annual meetings are the finance ministers and central bank governors of the member countries, plus top leadership of the World Bank and the International Monetary Fund. This is the first time that heads of governments will attend a G-20 meeting.

Now, that ‘first time’ is in regards to its first summit, this weekend, in Korea. I assume it goes the same for the June meetings.

KJ Mullins’s Digital Journal article about G20 interfering with Toronto Gay Pride week activities has the slightly more detailed deets:

Pride officials aren’t the only ones to face problems with scheduling. The Toronto Blue Jays were to host the Philadelphia Phillies on those two days. The location of the Rogers Centre and the planned venue of the summit are next door to each other. In order to protect world leaders the games have to be rescheduled.

No word on any dates the games could be rescheduled to.

The one thing we do know, however, is that Matt Stairs will not be attending.

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Feb
08
2010
Posted by at 6:37 pm ET 14 Comments

As most of the Phillies battery crew prepares for Spring Training in just 9 motherfucking days, noted UFC superfan Shane Victorino (whom only loves it so because of the league’s acronic-resemblance to ‘WFC’) attended UFC 109 in Las Vegas yesterday. The big story from the fight was Tito Ortiz ‘lipping off’ Mark Coleman, whose ass was just handed to him by Randy Couture. Coleman then said “F— you too, Tito. Any f—ing time. Anytime, douchebag.” This was preceded by nobody giving a shit. And yes, if you’re wondering, all Shane-like UFC fans look like douches (that’s Chuck with the Fasano in the front). Shane memorizing every single little movement Chuck Liddell makes:

Pic, along with “Just spotted Shane Victorino sitting behind Chuck Liddell at tonights UFC fight. I’m sure he’s being a dick to absolutely everyone in there while marketing his new t-shirt line”, via the watchful eye of Fightins commenter Adam Eaton…or was it Adam Eaton? He has the time.

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Jan
26
2010
Posted by at 1:51 pm ET 43 Comments

Your National League champion Philadelphia Phillies aren’t just baseball players- they’re community servicemen! I’m not sure what school this is, but for reading Clifford the Big Red Dog (sorry for evoking any Cliff Lee memories) and Curious George, these kids, courtesy of the Phillies Be A Phanatic About Reading Program, and their fine Twitter account, got a big ol’ surprise from none other than Chase Utley. (And yes, it’s OK to be jealous as shiiit of these 10 year olds right now.)

In other Chase-related news, yesterday he finally spoke about trading Cliff Lee (from David Murphy’s Philly.com article).

“Halladay is one of the best pitchers in baseball,” Utley said. “He’s a workhorse. Everyone I’ve talked to who has played with him or against him has nothing but good things to say about him. I’m excited to see him work.”

“I got to play behind Cliff. He did a wonderful job for us. Hopefully 1 day I’ll get to play behind him again. But it’s a business, and every year we realize there will be new faces in the clubhouse.”

“I trust what the front office has done. They’ve done a good job getting good players and putting good people in the clubhouse. It’s been a big part of our success. I trust what they do.”

Chase  was also asked about the Phillies bringing back the dude with the forehead that the Phillies got rid of so Chase could play second base

“When we were here kind of platooning a few years ago, him being the veteran guy, I guess if he really wanted to he could have made the situation uncomfortable for me. But he didn’t do that at all. He was extremely helpful, trying to help me get better, telling me things that might help me out. When I think back on it, that’s pretty cool.”

Also found this gem on the Phillies twitter page:

LA, Sarge and Mitch at Kangaroo Court

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Jan
22
2010
Posted by at 5:16 pm ET 44 Comments

During these busiest days the Phillies have had since inking Doc, they’ve found their answer to the missing foreign mid-to-late innings reliever problem incurred after losing Chan Ho Park. First reported by ESPNDeportes stud Enrique Rojas (and first translated by Beerleaguer), the Phillies have signed 38 year old SP/RP Jose Contreras to a 1-year deal, terms unknown.

Most seem to believe he will end up being a direct replacement for current free agent Chan Ho Park. He had pretty horrible numbers starting for the ChiSox last year (5-14, 114.2 IP, 5.42 ERA), but after being traded to the Rockies he pitched 17 pretty good innings (17 innings, 1.59 ERA, 17 Ks) and threw in the high 90′s.

Oh yeah, that’s right, he also gave up an RBI single to today’s birthday boy, CHOOOOOOCH, in Game 3 of this past NLCS against the Rockies. Think that’s fucking weird? Check out the Fightins’ latest addition:

And for any of you that are reading this in the next couple minutes, CLIFF LEE SEATTLE PRESSER AT 6 PM ET. Check it out here.

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Jan
22
2010
Posted by at 11:55 am ET 19 Comments

In an extremely unexpected move, the Mets have signed Gary Matthews Junior (aka our beloved Gary Matthews’s SON! Weird, right?). ESPN’s Jerry Crasnick had the tweet-beat of the SI report being ESPN’d:

ESPN.com confirms SI.com report that Gary Matthews Jr. is now a Met. Angels will pick up a “whole bunch” of the money, a source says.

Not sure who the Angels are getting back for Matthews, but I was told it’s a “low salaried pitcher” off the big league roster.

Gary Matthews Jr. was 1st among 107 MLB outfielders in FanGraphs’ UZR/150 rankings in 2002. Last year, he was 109th out of 115 OF

Looks like Omar and his minions have come down to Lil’ Sarge to replace illegally recovering Carlos Beltran in centerfield with a 35 year old that, although he’s made some RIDICULOUS grabs, he hit .250 in 316 ABs, with only 4 homers and 50 RBIs in 2009 (hence the horrible UZR ranking).

I know what Larry Andersen’s gonna say to him, “Now you just stay away from that Tatis guy, he’s bad news.”  But I wonder how pops  feels about this…

HE LOOKS ANGRY!

HE LOOKS ANGRY!

THE FIGHTINS DISCLAIMER: We still love Sarge

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Jan
19
2010
Posted by at 1:19 pm ET 39 Comments

1 down.  1,405 to go.This morning, Philly.com’s gossip editor Dan ‘Disgusting’ Gross reported that Shane Victorino, Ryan Howard, and other Phillies are headed to the Cayman Islands for Jimmy Fuckin’ Rollins’s wedding on Saturday. He will be marrying the beauty and fitness-training-like talents that is Johari Smith. The best part of the ceremony of course, is that the groomsman is none other than wall-hater Bobby Abreu!

Phillies, beach, hot women, this all sounds fun right? Well nearly an hour later…

THERE WAS A FUCKING EARTHQUAKE ON GRAND CAYMAN ISLAND!

That’s right, the same island where OUR BELOVED FIGHTIN’ PHILS WERE HEADED! Luckily, as reported by CBS 3, Jimmy and the gang are alright:

Rollins, who was at the Grand Cayman Beach for his upcoming wedding to Jahori Smith, sent a message to teammates saying he was ok. Several teammates are expected to attend the wedding scheduled for Saturday, but they reportedly have not yet arrived.

It went on to say his hotel shook for 10 seconds and everyone had to go to the beach. And holy shit, thank god he is OK.  I don’t want no Miguel Tejada playing shortstop for the steroid-free Phillies. ::knock on wood::

On that nearly terrifying note, Mr. Amaro just signed a few veteran pitchers to minor league deals, ho-hum…including BRANDON DUCKWORTH? ‘Member him? [picture of The Duck Pond]? Well, apparently Ed Wade didn’t stick his shlong out to bring him back to Houston before Philly got him. How could Ed miss that? An ex-Phillie AND Astro? Gold!

In conclusion:  The Phillies are safe, Jimmy is almost wed, and Bobby will probably drop the ring.

One month ’til single game tickets go on sale.

Jan
08
2010
Posted by at 7:27 pm ET 25 Comments

He might not have been re-signed by the Phillies this week, but Chan Ho Park is still lookin’ and actin’ fly as hell.

KoreAm, the nation’s finest Korean-American magazine, made the finest pitcher with an identity crisis the cover story for their January 2010 issue. The interview topics range from playing the ’09 World Series with swine flu, to the entire San Diego Padres team trying to give him their blood. And Todd Zolecki quotes!

After the jump, another pic that’ll magically take you to the article if you click on it.

Read more »

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Jan
07
2010
Posted by at 3:51 pm ET 75 Comments

First of all, hello! If you don’t know me from Twitter (@fuckthemets), or my shitty commenting on this fine blog, my name is fuckthemets, and I am thrilled and honored to be here. That is all.

With all the Hall of Fame shit going on the past couple days (and ‘shit’ is a nice way of putting the results), a few transactions have been slightly overlooked.

  • On Tuesday, the Mets confirmed their signing of Jason Bay to a 4 year, 66 million dollar deal with a no-trade clause and 17 million dollar option for 2014. Congrats, Omar- you’ve already done your job of raising Mets fans expectations to unrealistic heights.
  • The Nationals countered the Mets in the Race For 4th by signing closer Matt Capps to a one year, 3.5 million dollar deal. Fresh off a 5.80 ERA! (which, almost amazingly, is lower than 4 Nats relievers with over 20 appearances last year.)
  • That same day, the Phillies confirmed the signing of 32 year old reliever Danys Báez González to a two year, 5.25 million dollar contract. A boring signing, but he is similar to Park in his ability to pitch multiple days without being a bitch. And he apparently has a pet boxer Lennox, named after boxer Lennox Lewis, if that’s your thing.
  • (Danys has got the gooseneck look down)

  • On that note, the Phillies have decided not to re-sign Chan Ho Park and Clay Condrey. And Wednesday afternoon, the Twins signed Condrey to a one year deal, probably in an attempt to replace the greatest name in baseball going to Boston.

CHAN HO PARK WITHOUT A SHIRT ON NEXT TO FAT WHITE GUY THAT MIGHT BE CLAY CONDREY

(pic via Walkoff Walk)

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