4:10PM on FOX
Cliff Lee (9-6) 2.92 ERA
Tommy Hanson (10-4) 2.52 ERA
Thanks to James Fayleez for the pitcher pics
MLB and Jib Jab have come together to provide you with this creepy video to help motivate you to vote for your favorite final vote candidate, in our case Mr. Victorino. This video kind of reminds me of ventriloquist dummies coming to life, therefore I am terrified of it. Enjoy!
7:10PM on CSN
Cole Hamels (9-4) 2.41 ERA
PHILLIES: Cole Hamels will use his strong hand tonight to throw a shut out against the Marlins. I hope their broadcast team cries. If you have twitter be sure to harass them as much as possible.
Chris Volstad (4-7) 5.01 ERA
MARLINS: Ryan Howard and Raul Ibanez murder Chris Volstad. So we all know how this one is gonna end.
Happy 4th of July!
I’m a little busy getting drunk and grilling food so here’s what you need to know about the game: It’s Worley vs Nolasco, it starts at 6:10PM, it’s on CSN and MLB Network, T-Mac and Wheels will make you regret America exists by the end of the broadcast, and the Phillies are going to win. Cheers.
1:07PM on CSN
Roy Halladay (10-3) 2.40 ERA
PHILLIES: Canada’s collective nut is going to bust today, spraying royal pudding everywhere, when they see Roy Halladay take the mound. They will celebrate Halladay pitching by giving out 3 kisses and a pair of socks, as is tradition.
Carlos Villanueva (5-1) 3.15 ERA
BLUE JAYS: Together we work, to keep the bad guy away, he’s mean and he hurts, and his name is tooth decay.
1:05PM on CSN and MLB Network
Cole Hamels (9-4) 2.49 ERA
PHILLIES: Jon Lester gets WAY too much attention as “one of the best young left-handers in the game today” when Cole is clearly superior, which he will prove today.
Jon Molester (9-4) 3.66 ERA
RED SOX: Thought I was gonna make a cancer joke, didn’t ya?
- Crocks on The Unrecognized Revenge of Bill Hall
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- Chooch on Sports Illustrated’s Profile of Chooch Will Make You Laugh; Cry.
- Kung Fu Fightins on Open Game Thread: 7/15 Phillies at LOLMets
- If you have nothing good to say say nothing on The Unrecognized Revenge of Bill Hall